This Is My Way Of Life

10/2/2012

2012-02-11T00:10:00.006+08:00

REVIVE

Hi peeps!

I am back, to revive my somewhat dead blog. Apparently, it was last year since I posted here. So I don't really expect anyone to follow this anymore. So let's just say I am keeping this for my own reading a few years down the road, and perhaps laugh at how stupid I used to be. Well, people do grow wiser everyday right??

Well.... Just a little update.

Partied at Jason's house for New Year. Did nothing for CNY. Took up a job at Cheers and quitted. And now doing low-paying jobs for the fun of it.

Anyway, I realised everytime I travel home with Yuh Chyi, I always learn something about myself. Some I didn't know and some I already did.

Yeah, I do know I am insecure. But I like things to be perfect. Not exactly a perfectionist.... but close. So, when people start making comments and opinions about me and things I do, I get uneasy. But that's just the way I am... Although I started to learn from experiences in life that sometimes, you just need to ignore people that don't matter. And I am really starting to do that more now. I just like things to go as planned and when it doesn't, I get annoyed and uncomfortable. If that's being insecure, then I am.

Talking about people who matter.

I just came back from campfire in HC. I always thought that people staring into blank spaces and thinking about the past only happens in movies until I actually did it. And boy was I surprised.

So after that thought process, I just decided to do something that I should have done 2 years ago, that is to keep those close friends close to you and don't give a shit, to people who don't make an effort to stay. Honestly, I should have been over this long ago but I am not. Yes, there are too many things that can remind of people who have left my life either willingly or unwillingly. Yet, it always hurt when I am reminded of them and it doesn't help when you are insecure and when you don't know who is the next one to leave you. Because life is too unpredictable and you never know what tomorrow is going to bring, someone close to you might leave you for no rhyme or reason. When that happens, it's going to hurt. Although we will move on, that someone would have left a permanent mark in you such that when you are reminded of them, you will always feel hurt in some way.

It's not going to be easy, but I will try. I adapt to things fast anyway, so I doubt it will last too long.

As for our class gathering today, I would say it was pretty okay? I don't know, this is just not a group of people I will click with. Not my style of friends if I have to put it. And honestly, I don't even know what type of friends I have. Perhaps Yuh Chyi is right, I just didn't give them a 'chance'. But oh well, I won't see them much in the future until... 2 March 2012... Okay, let's leave that to another day. Hopefully, that day will never come.

Perhaps I am too insecure, that's why I get emotional all the time. But when you think too much, that's what happens. And when you're alone a lot, that's when you think too much.... So yeah....

Or perhaps, those who judge me just don't know me well enough. I do hold back stuff about myself and my family. There are certain things I don't tell everyone, but that's because I have been backstabbed before. It's harder to trust when you have been.

Do you really think you know me just beacuse you see things from your point of view? Do you know why I am who I am? Do you even know me at all in the first place? So before you do, let's stop making comments about me. Thank you very much.

Keep judging and you will never understand the truth. Because you think you have it, but you never did.

That's all for today,

See Ya

14/11/2011

2011-11-14T01:23:00.004+08:00

Retarded people.

Hi peeps!

A LEVELS STARTED ALR! Can you believe it? I already gave up to the point that I am blogging already! JUST KIDDING. Since there's a 5-day break and I can't sleep so, might as well burn some energy here!

Haiz, A levels has been eventful, there were manageable papers and crazy papers. There were sadness, joy, disappointments and happiness. Well, at the end of the day, we still have 4 more days to go. Once these 4 days are over, we will be officially free. No more doing things that we don't like. No more trying to trying to memorise biology notes and acting like I give a damn. No more trying to please everyone and trying to blend into a class which I have no feelings for. No more of feeling alone in a room of 27 people. No more. NO MORE.

Anyway, I was reading Yong Liang's blog when I saw this anon guy, some retard apparently, flaming. I found it rather hilarious though. I always thought if you don't like the person, you would try to avoid and refrain from reading anything related to the person. Yet this idiot actually went to his blog to flame him -.- I thought that was like a secondary 2 thing. I didn't know it was brought up to JC2 too. Oh well..... Retards.

Okay, perhaps I shouldn't make myself sound like I hate retards, because quite honestly, all my close friends are retards some way or another. If not for all those fun retarded friends around me that can stand my nonsense and accept me at my worst and best, I don't think I would have managed to survive to A's. To every single retard that played such a role, I thank you.

So when A's end, who are going to still stay in touch? Who still be by your side and bother to msn you? Who will still sms you when you're bored? Who? If only I knew.

People change, and I am pretty sure after A's, many people are going to change. Some people lose touch, some people become closer. The others just remain status quo. But something will remain constant and that would be memories. The good and bad. I will cherish every one of them, because those are the only things that are constant as compared to the ever-changing world.

I am just glad that Bio paper 2, Math and GP is over. I don't need to care about memorising mathematical formulas, no more caring about my grammatical errors and no more memorising Bio notes (OMG).

Seriously, everything is about to end yet the only thing I can think of is that annoying medical review at CMPB that I have on 2 Dec. CMPB loves me so much that they want to see me again. And most probably, I am going to be in Pes B. So I would waste a day (including the night to sleep early to wake up for that damn thing) which I could be enjoying and having fun. HAIZ.

Sometimes I wonder, what to make out of my life? Hmmm... Time will tell..

When was blogging old-fashioned? D:

OMG, I am still not tired and my dad is already hinting at me to sleep. -.- What' this!

Arghhh... some of my friends are saying I am becoming fat. Need. To. Exercise.

That's all for today,

See Ya

15/10/2011

2011-10-15T13:39:00.002+08:00

WHAT IS THIS!!!

Hi peeps!

I was having insomnia again last night so my mind just started to wander off. So I was thinking about the upcoming grad day and how annoying it was to have to buy a white long sleeve shirt, a tie and black leather shoes, which I have not bought any of which yet -.-

Then I thought about Prom and shopping for THAT too. Then I realised, 2 years of Hwa Chong is going to be over. After being so annoyed by my own stupid decision to come here and complaining about it all the time, I feel a tinge of sadness in it. I know I said many times that I don't like the school, the culture, SOME people and the adminstration and stuff. But they were still memorable. I won't want to relive all that, but somehow I still miss it.

So I thought about what made me miss this place. And I came to the conclusion: the people. If not for friends that went through everything with me and spurred me on, I don't think I would ever bother about HC again. All those support from them and the joy they gave to me, it wasn't something that I would trade anything for. If not for some of the teachers in HC, I would still be in J1 and screwing up my life. All the guidance they provided us, I couldn't ask for anything more.

As this chapter of my life comes to a close, another is about to begin. A levels, somewhat, I feel A LITTLE more confident than I was a month ago. But I still got a lot of work to do. The final test of this chapter.

All the best everyone!

That's all for today,

See Ya~

27/9/2011

2011-09-27T20:31:00.002+08:00

Tell me what to do.

Hi peeps!

Prelims have finally ended. Well, it has the good and the bad side.

The good? Well, the fact that you can take a break from studying, relax and not worry about exams.

The bad? Well, that break, is in fact, SHORT. And also, it means we are DAMN CLOSE to A levels.

If you're asking how short is short? I will tell you, TWO FREAKING DAYS. ._. And honestly, I find it pretty long. Considering the fact that, I am hardly ready for the A levels.

Finally watched Johnny English, and I've got to say, it's was reallly funny and worth it. Just based on that, I think you should watch it. Unless you've watched it before that is.

Oh, and I watched Abduction after that. Pretty random choice of movie, but oh well, it was not a bad movie. But it wasnt the funny kind though. Haha.

Haiz, I am in a point at my life whereby I don't know how to make sense of everything around me anymore. I am at the point where I don't know what to do, how to do it, where to do it, when to do it and why to do it. Basically, I am pretty much lost. Lost as in lack of direction, not the I-want-to-kill-myself kind of lost.

Not saying that I don't have an aim, I definitely have a certain direction. But I am pretty unsure of whatever to do. I am just taking it one step at a time and deal with things when I need to.

Same goes to the other non-exam situations around me. I have no freaking clue. All I know is I am just going to let everything take it's course and try to fit in somewhere. Hopefully, the right place.

Haiz, alternatively, you can tell me what to do. Really. I have respect to everyone that has an aim, whether it was a chef, a singer or a lawyer whatsoever, at least you know to a certain degree, what you want out of your life. Quite honestly, I don't.

Tell me a reason to believe cos I swear I'm done here, because I've seen a bigger picture and I'm looking for some answers.

That's all for today,

See Ya.

30/8/2011

2011-08-30T15:08:00.001+08:00

PRELIMS

Hi peeps!

Tomorrow would be start of Prelims and as always, it begins with GP. Well, what better way to practice for GP then blogging right? Just kidding, I am just consoling myself.

After scanning through all the GP stuff I have received, I got a little tired so I came here for a break. I received a message in the morning, which I have not found out how to reply yet. So I am just going to choose to ignore it until I find a way to. For now.

Argh, Prelims are going to start yet I still dont feel that confident yet ):

The real reason I came here was because of Mrs Toh's EMB. The one responding to our teacher's day card. I sort of felt a little nostalgic after reading it, like the flashback of all the times with her. Damn it.

Sort of felt like an idiot wasting this 2 years.

Under the best teacher ever in HC, I didn't make use of her well enough. Honestly, she was the best Math teacher I ever had. She's the only teacher that actually made me do my work without complaining. That's something. Now that I think back, I really hated myself for the fact that I didnt make use of the time we had with her. ARGHHH. Seriously, Mrs Toh was the only teacher that made me look forward to lessons in HC.

Funny how I am listening to Stop And Stare while blogging this.

All the best in whatever you do in future. Rem that you define your own happiness.

- Mrs Toh

She didnt just teach math. She taught us life. She taught us how to lead our lives, in the present and future. Honestly, I think I might be in J1 if not her. I can't stress how important she has been in my life and I daresay 10S74's life. I don't think anyone in our class hate her right? I hope so. Looking at the card that we gave, I suppose so.

When suddenly, life passed so fast. A Div is over. Block Test 2 is over. Prelims are going to be over. Graduation would be coming up next. Before we know it, A levels would be over.

To the greatest teacher ever, Mrs Toh,

Thank you. You made me a better person. I truly believe that.

Stop and stare. I think I'm moving but I go nowhere.

That's all for today,

ALL THE BEST EVERYONE.

See Ya!~

28/8/11

2011-08-28T23:24:00.004+08:00

I don't live for YOU.

Hi peeps!

Argh Prelims are so close yet the only thing then comes to my mind is basketball. Somehow I am pretty excited for Past Vs. Present (PvP), in hope for some fun which I wont get to enjoy a lot. Hopefully, the team I am in will be able to pull out a few wins.

"I am sure that's what 18 year olds do."

Perhaps you might recognise it, perhaps you might not. But either case, I gave this statement some thought. When I first heard it, I was pretty annoyed by the fact that once again, the person was calling me childish. Then, I thought about it, I wasn't 18 yet anyway. And in about 5 minutes, I took it as a compliment.

If having fun is not what 18 year olds do, then god damn it, I rather not be one. If I can't act like myself and enjoy my own life just to be 18, I rather pass. And if that's not what 18 year olds do, it just means one thing: I am unique. At least, I am not just another brick in the wall. (Ms Yan would be so proud of this statement HAHAHA.) I used to try and follow the lifestyles of others, to ensure that I was not on the wrong track. Now, I have sort of grown out of it. I would rather have my own life of balance between work and fun. And I am pretty sure that maturity does not mean being unable to have fun in our own way. So thank you.

By the way, if you judge people when you dont even know the person, you're headed for trouble. Good luck with life I would say.

I have learnt to keep my mouth shut about opinions of people that I am not really sure about. Until I have some experiences with the person of course, because having been a victim of judgement and opinions made me realised how bad it feels to be judged. Yet at the same time, when everything finally reveals itself, I am proud to say, " Rumours don't stand the test of time, but true character does."

I think it's time I let go of some bullshit that has happened to me in the past. Because somehow, it's affecting the way I handle things recently, AND THAT'S BAD.

As everything draws to an end, like the last day of school on 26/8/2011. Here are some of my thoughts in my class.

We are seperated by the differences that don't exist. We are united just because it's required.

When we start naming each other terms like muggers, looking at our class, everyone is one. I am not saying that because everyone started mugging for A's. I am saying that because it's true. Everyone in 10S74 is a mugger. So why harp on the fact that others are too hardworking for you? Deep down inside, everyone studies hard.

Why discriminate for looks? Are you that perfect? Did they choose to be this way? No. I am sure if they had a choice, they won't, but they have to stick with it for the rest of their life. Yet, we discriminate for that. I may joke about that at times, but I truly know that isn't a cause for hate and despise. Once again before judging, how about taking a good look at your ********? Not so perfect too huh?

Why avoid just beacuse they like to have fun? We have different ways of having fun, just because you don't like it, doesn't mean you have to blast it right at the person. True, it does get out of hand at times, but don't make yourself sound like a saint and criticize. The world could do with more encouragement instead of criticism. I am pretty sure of it.

So at the end of the day, everyone was just as childish, hardworking and ugly.

If you are offended or don't like it, I am sorry. These are just opinions from my experiences, you may have looked at it from a different point of view, but you can't deny there is some truth within those words.

All in all, a memorable experience, yet not one I want to relive.

As the time ticks, I flash-backed to all the memorable times. Only to find, none at all.

That's all for today,

See Ya.

12/8/2011

2011-08-12T20:40:00.002+08:00

Regret.

Hello peeps!

Long time since I last blogged, but well, time is something that I am truly lacking right now. It's so damn close to A levels and I am not even sure whether I know all the concepts that are required to take the test, much less all the content. ._.

Well, seeing as I waste my time doing crap that are hardly useful, that is pretty much expected of me. Not that I dont want to do well or I lack the incentive to do well, it's just, when you get pretty sick of many things around you and many things don't exactly go your way, imaginary stress build up and you need an outlet. This usually comes in the form of computer games, videos or basketball. None of which actually uses little time. So one thing leads to another and I end up just trying to rush out whatever work that is needed for the next day without revising any subjects.

Bottom line is: I am screwed.

I don't want any regrets collecting my A level certificate next year. That's enough an incentive for me to want to do well, but I don't know, things don't always go your way.

Honestly, I can't wait for A levels to end but I don't want it to start. Contradicting? I know. Who doesn't want to get A levels over and done with? But yet, who daresay they can walk into the examination hall with full confidence of getting an 'A' now. Well, maybe Paxton, Joven etc.... oh well, forget what I just said. Many can. I can't though.

Friends. What the hell does that word really mean anyway? I knew it at secondary 4. But HC redefined it. So I don't really know exactly how things work in friendships nowadays. Experiences in HC turned my life 180 degrees and I am still trying to cope with it. Who actually really bothers about how I feel day in and day out? Who actually really care about my life? Frankly, I am not even sure now. Darn it. ._.

Seems like I never seem to blog in a happy mood. Maybe I will. In the near future. Or maybe I will never do that. Who knows?

Thanks to Kwang for accompanying me to study in the reading room, you've no idea how grateful I am to you. Thanks to Jason and Keying for letting me join you two to study at AMK library, you made me realised how screwed I was and how much harder I needed to work. Thanks to Ryan, for always being there, to slap me and wake me up. Thanks to Joseph for always encouraging me via tagboard, letting me know that at least someone bothers about my emotions and everything. I know you all are just friends helping me, but as someone once closed to me said, I dont want to take you all for granted.

Talking about that. TF, I am sorry. It's my fault that we ended up on total opposite ends. I never wanted to this to happen, but somehow it did. I realised, it has been a while, since we last said hello to each other. Please, really, please, dont blame yourself for it. If it's anyone's fault, it's mine, I just can't get over certain things. No I am not avoiding you either. If you read this, please understand that, no matter what happens, I have a pair of ears for whatever bullshit you want to rant on me (:

At least I know 1 thing for sure, it takes two hands to clap in a friendship. So for those that has been rather 1 sided with me doing all the 'work', I gave up.

Somehow Avril's When You're Gone sounds very nice. It doesn't actually applies to my life now, but it just addictive all of a sudden.

When you walk away, I count the steps that you take.

Oh well....

Friends. 7 letter word. How complicated can it get? You have NOOO IDEAAAA.

That's all for today,

See Ya.

11/7/2011

2011-07-11T20:35:00.002+08:00

Guilt.

Hi peeps!

Other than annoying me, I don't know what the hell is my mom specialised at doing. ._. It's not like she knows a lot about what I am going through as a student, unlike my dad, and yet, she's the one that talks the MOST. -.- @*#^(@&(# So far I am just ORH-ing her. If this goes on, I might just snap. ._.

Whatever.

Shucks, BT2 is really -.- So far the 2 teachers I didnt want to disappoint ended up still being disappointed with my results. One was sort of expected, the other..... not really. All I can say is, I was really really really DAMN BLIND during the exams.. I didnt read the questions properly, I didnt write my answers properly and I was definitely crazy during that period of time. It makes me even more guilty that Mr Chen is not really killing me and instead is giving me as much help as possible It's exactly times like this that makes me feel like just running to the basketball court and play till I drop.

Haiz, I want to play an on-form basketball game. A game where I am at least not fatigued easily and I can really play like myself. So far, I've not really experienced it.

All the doubts surfacing again. Whether I can really pull through to get what I want and to do what I want. FML.

It's not like I dont want to start studying, it's just harder to do it alone. ._. No I am not saying I need someone to accompany to mug, I am saying I need someone to HELP me. I have been drifting away too frequently during lessons and I lost track on a lot in my studies. That's where help comes in. ._.

ARGH.

Don't make a promise you can't keep. Don't make wishes that are out of reach. Take it one step at a time, and you'll be fine.

That's all for today,
See Ya.

04/07/2011

2011-07-04T00:51:00.002+08:00

Protecting what?

Hi peeps!

*with thick sacarsm* Block test 2 was absolutely great, I would most probably get straight As and my parents would be so proud. *sacarsm ends*

YAH RIGHT. Blocks only made me realised how enjoyable those little stuffs are in my life. Example? Reading a book. Watching Youtube. Facebooking. The list goes on....

Mugging my ass off for two weeks and going out of the exam hall full of uncertainty. Like what the heck is going on here?! Two years ago I was thinking of doing ok for all my exams and coming out of JC more or less with a happy experience. Reality? 180 degree turn. Things just dont turn out the way you predicted them to be. And that's life.

Sometimes, we already knew what's going to happen. Deep down inside our hearts, we know what we deserve. We just dont want to accept it. Whether it is out of fear or out of pride or even out of ignorance, we don't accept it. If I screw up Block Test 2, I deserved it. I was ridiculously lazy for the first 2 weeks, slacking like mad, didn't do much work. If I get straight Us, I deserved it.

Yet, there are times when things happen unexpectantly. Funny how all my priorities shifted over the course of 2 years. How things change overnight. How perceptions of different people changes with just, a day or two. Within two months into JC, I found out who really meant the most to me, and they were nowhere near, where I was studying in. It's like what Wei Kit says, "We wont cherish things, if there is a replay button". Yeah, I hate myself for not doing it. Somehow, just playing basketball with them, seem to relieve alot of my stress gathered from all the things happening in life.

It's exactly because I lost them, that's why I cherished them. I lost the security provided from having someone to go to after school, to do something together. The joy of their company after everyday to do something. I lost all that, and found out, how important they were in my life. Don't get me wrong, there are people whose company I enjoy to be in HC. Just, not that kind of comfort I used to get.

Chong We said, "Our class is just together, because we've to. Just there because it exists." Somehow, it feels the same to in HC. Like, the friends I've made are just there, because at some point of time, we were forced to be in each other's company.

I used to think I meant something special to those that I trusted. That was way too egoistic I know. Yes, I was proven wrong.

People come and go in life. It's not I am afraid of change. I am afraid of losing those that mattered. Because somehow, I always do. Yeah, tell me about it.

My dad's awake and he's pestering me to sleep.

All the best for everyone studying

I'm not afraid of change. I'm afraid of uncertainty. I'm not afraid of asking something. I'm afraid of the consequences. I missed my carefree days.

That's all for today,

See Ya~

11/6/2011

2011-06-11T23:35:00.003+08:00

I think too much at night

Hi peeps!

I am finally done with market structure, yes I know I am slow, but I was still in the relax mood. I still got 1 more movie that I have not watched, which I have downloaded, so once I am done with that, it will be full speed with mugging. Promise.

I am seriously considering to mug at my house's void deck, though the thought of how retarded I will look is deterring me just as much as I have the urge of doing it. Gosh, I really have no discipline at all :/ Once I am at home, I will always be using the comp. Haiz.

Sometimes, there are really things that you just dont want to think about, yet you end up thinking about it ALL DAY LONG. I can find a million of reasons not to care about it but yet I can find the same amount of reasons to do so -.- JASON SEOW, KENNETH TAY and RYAN GOH it's not working!!!!! ._.

I think my dad is taking another approach of trying to get me to do work. And I sort of prefer it. He is doing much more encouragements than he is nagging. Well, I know it sounds quite funny, but he hugged me in the morning for no apparent reason. Like seriously just like that. Kind of makes me feel even more guilty for slacking for so long. GOSH, what am I doing with my life?! ._.

Talk about slacking, I went to play basketball yesterday. At CHS. Somehow, I could still walk there without looking, Not literally but like, I was playing with my phone while I was walking and yet I found my way there somehow. I think they call that muscle memory or something. I prefer to think of it as, my body is missing Cat High :/ HC makes Cat High looks like a kindergarden school.

Then went to Seph house for PS3 before heading back home. Haiz, I know I've been slacking too much. Everyone is telling me that. Perhaps I should just die for BT2 to get myself mugging harder after it.

My ex-tuition teacher told me that I would feel alone at night from her own fortune telling crap. I told her never. Looks like I am wrong.

Never say never huh? (I know it's a JB song, but it makes sense this time.)

When the sun sets and thoughts go astray. I thought I would be over with all this.

That's all for today,

See Ya!

8/6/2011

2011-06-09T00:08:00.000+08:00

Sick of being a puppet.

Hi peeps!

I am getting sick of being a puppet. Not literally being controlled of course. I mean like, being used?

Somehow, the kind of feeling I get from people is that, I am just someone to turn to, when you need help. When you dont, *poof* I disappear from your life. Yeah, so much for friendship and everything. The only people that have turned to me to really do something enjoyable with them, is only Jason, Ryan and Kenneth. Yeah, tell me how sad my life is ._.

Seriously, so much in life has happened to me, that I am already getting that feeling from a lot of people. And honestly, I hate that feeling. I won't show it of course, I am not that, dumb. The only good thing I've taken away from all these is, finding out who are true friends of mine. Who are those who will really stay by me no matter what.

Haiz, and I still havent got into the mood of studying yet. Blocks in 2 weeks? Thanks a lot. How about saying I am screwed?

GAHHHH.

It's raining now. Perhaps I should catch some sleep. Hopefully, HOPEFULLY, I will get up early and finally get some work done.

It's a short post, but you can't blame me when it struck me again out of the blue.

Don't walk ahead of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. (No, this is not that cliche quote.) Walk with me on my entire life journey, stay by me no matter what happens, and I will try my best, to the same for you.

That's all for today,
See Ya~

28/5/2011

2011-05-28T23:39:00.002+08:00

He said I had fire in my eyes

Hi peeps!

I am feeling the post-CCA withdrawal symptoms already. Just don't feel like doing ANYTHING. Can totally understand and emphatise with Bruno Mar's Lazy Song. HAIZ.

Yesterday was a totally crazy and retarded day.

It was the first time wearing the team shirt out and I've to say, it's kind of nice having one (Y) If there was one thing I am very proud of in Hwa Chong, it would be HC Floorball. And nothing better than a shirt to represent the entire season. (: Thanks Kwang for helping the design or sort of doing the entire design. HAHA.

Played basketball after school to kill time and I've to say, my touches are totally gone -.- Hmm... Sort of makes me feel like joining a Basketball club after 'A's just for fun. Oh well, it's still a looooooooooong time before that happens.

Gathered everyone and went to shop for steamboat food. It didnt took long before we were at Yin Hong's house waiting for the arrival of coach (: Steamboat was just retarded, the whole session was just us talking crap over the table before Coach finally decided to start the season review.

The atmosphere like totally changed. I sort of just said whatever that came to my mind as much as possible, although I skipped through the 'regret' part in the season. Well, he didn't quite said the things I expected him to say, which is what Kenneth is all about. HAHA. Unpredictable (: "No matter what the scoreline, he wouldnt shut up. I mean it in a good way. He never has his head down and always encouraging his teammates and himself. And coaches can usually see fire in people, and I tell you, I saw the biggest flame on the team, when I look into his eyes." (:

"Don't take things too personally" Yes boss, I will heed your advice (:

Really, I could totally emphatise with what Paxton said. It feels weird with nothing to do after school. The one thing that kept us going in school was training. And to think now, going back home so early, it's just weird. Something like feeling empty inside. No one to go with and nowhere to go to.

Respect is the right word for Coach.

If only we did him a little prouder. If only we did.

Oh well. Feel like going out to study. Haiz, I should go annoy my sec 4 clique to do it with me.

Who to turn to, when I need someone by my side the most?

That's all for today,

See Ya!

23/5/2011

2011-05-23T19:36:00.001+08:00

习惯就好

Hi peeps!

Just came back from Starbucks studying. Alone. Okay, I am not really complaining since it wasn't really intentional. But somehow, it made me realised that, I am almost getting use to this.

Somehow, when needed, I dont really get the physical support. Not like someone to carry me or something, but like, someone to be there right beside me, to listen, to how everything that's really bothering me right now. It's true that there are people that I can always call or drop a message to for a chat, but somehow, not someone physically by my side.

Sort of realised that today. I was so annoyed with Diversity and Evolution, yet beside me, there was no one to ask and no one to complain to. Yeah, somehow, it always happen. When your hopes are high, all the more things would not occur. No, I don't expect there to be someone 100% of the time. That would be asking too much. But half the time? Is that too much to ask for? I dont know. Maybe I didn't do the same, for those that asked the same of me. So used to it. Replacing someone with another. Ending up in a vicious cycle, of having to find replacements.

Things are better left untouched and un-thought of. So that the best would happen. No wonder my right eyelid was twitching all day. Omen? Superstition? Maybe. Either way, it didn't turn out great.

The best part was, the reason I was alone, was because, I didn't execute at the biggest stage. So I suppose I have only myself to blame. If not, the least our team would be at, is the prize presentation. For 3rd/4th. At the very least.

Perhaps Kwang was right, we would look splendid on the court. But, those are just what ifs. And that, is the saddest two words, you can ever say.

Come on, get over it already.

Oh great, the best part was the MJ (Guys) team won. I dont really know how their girls team play, but all I know is, the guys team are undeserving champs. Eating sour grapes? Maybe.

I kept re-watching and re-watching the clip of us playing MJ. Somehow, looking at the number of calls that were not made, all the dirty pushes and shoves given to us by them. It just made me come to the conclusion of, they are not true winners. No matter how many championships they win with that method, in many eyes, they wont be deserving. If you have to play dirty to win, then, might as well dont play.

Whatever.

Somehow, my mood was lightened by the fact that I won't be alone. Then somehow, today, I ended up back to square one again.

不是应该习惯了吗? 为什么还会痛?

Yeah, tell me about it.

18/5/2011

2011-05-18T20:33:00.000+08:00

Regrets

Hi peeps!

The girl's team lost. 3-1. Truthfully, not a very splendid game no matter how much they think they did well. No I am not hating or eating sour grapes, but the desire wasn't there as much as it should be, for a final game. But hey, it's their own game, they can do whatever they want, we'll just cheer them on right? Haha.

Then, it got me wondering, what would we be doing, in a game like this? If I had tapped in that goal and we beat RV by a bigger margin? If we made it to semis, and we had a chance to take on RJC? If we could go to the finals, and give MJ a lesson they will never forget? How would we look, on that floor? Fighting hard no matter no scoreline? Maybe.

Then, thoughts start to fly and more what ifs, came to my head. "What if I trained my ball control more?", "What if I stayed as a keeper?" and "What if, I was more composed" Ouch. Makes me regret about the season more. I should really stop thinking about all these crap. Tell me about it.

Anyway, promise broken. Officially. Yay? I dont know, may end up in a blessing in disguise. HAHA. Okay, I shouldnt think that way.

To think going through so much, didn't mean a thing at all. To think, one event could have changed it all. To think, in the end, I didn't mean a thing at all. Perhaps, I should getting used it. At least this time, hopefully, I am no longer walking alone.

Before I start on my Sampling, D and E and read the email that miss ng just sent me, I just hope that somehow, my life would turn out better than what my dad has so called 'predicted'.

Yeah, I am going to say this, my dad actually said, that with this fortune telling crap, I am going to screw up A Levels. How comforting huh? To come out from the family that you trust the most. To tell you that you're going to screw up in your A Levels. Nice. Then, you rub it in that I sucked in floorball. Sure. Fine. Thanks a lot. And you ask me why am I always so rude? Tell me about it -.-

Whatever.

Now to find a studying partner omg. ANYONEEEEE? :D

Because I always imagine, of all the possibilities. And the one thing I have for my life: regret.

That's all for today,
See Ya!

15/5/2011

2011-05-15T19:51:00.005+08:00

Looking back, looking ahead.

Hi peeps! (:

I am finally done uploading my mini project, our season video (: Perhaps it isn't the best that can be done, but I tried my best >< Yes, I have to come the realisation that, our season is over. Not the best way to end it, not the worst either. Although the ride was full ups and downs, I am glad that it ended on a high.

Hopefully, this team wont be like our seniors team, everyone just going to lose contact as time progresses. Hopefully, everyone will still come together once or twice to chat and have fun. Maybe so, maybe so.

Looking back at all the challenges that we've faced, all the adversaries. We pulled through and went far, though not as far as we wanted to, but we went far. Although hcunite didnt do us justice, I hope that everyone will remember, this team, conquered challenges, obstacles and tough times, and became truthfully, a team for the ages. (:

Now that is ended, results, test and A levels is going to shift to first priority. Yea, it's sad, and there will definitely be a transition period for me. Thankfully, I will still get to go for trainings to help the j1s. Although is nothing compared to previous times, but at least we've something. Coach wants to have dinner with us for a season review :D Hopefully he would do away with all the stupid stuff I did. Hopefully.

Going to start mugging after school from now on. Once HC Floorball ends. Promise. I wont break this one for sure. I dont wanna admit it, but watching my own video, sort of made me feel like crying. 2 years of HC Floorball and it ended just like that. Fun, joy, excitement, anxiety, anger, disappointment, happiness. Summing my 2 years in HC Floorball: worthwhile (: I'm glad that I didn't choose this over MAD. Nor anything else.

Tell me, which team can fool around in training all the time, joke and laugh everytime yet step on the court with killer instincts? Which team can have lunch together everytime, play monodeal and make a din in wherever we eat? Which team can tell you they overcame the most challenges, to make every other school know, they cannot look down on us? NONE. Except HC Floorball.

Thank you guys for all the fun I had. I will try and design the team shirt as soon as possible. (:

Because the feeling of nothing-ness when everything has ended, when the responsibilty has been lift off your shoulders. It was supposed to feel good, somehow, it isn't.

That's all for today,

See Ya~

11/5/2011

2011-05-11T20:23:00.000+08:00

Release.

Hi peeps!

Now that season has ended, there's no need for me control any emotions. Now that there's no games to play anymore, I don't need to keep everything in.

I am not satisfied nor proud of this team and season. Yeah, suprised? As much as I felt we played our hearts out and everything, I am not. But hear me out.

We had the capabilties, the talent and the coach to make semis. Not talking big, but I am serious. We did. But, it doesn't mean a thing now that we didn't. We underachieved, and that is nothing to be proud of. We deserved a spot in the semis. But because we had guys not giving their all, we had guys giving up on plays, we had guys who gave up on the game. That to me, is not a good team. Yeah, it's true that most of us corrected our mistake that we made. But it wasn't in time. All our hopes were on the line, yet, there were people giving up? I dont get it. I really don't.

Yes I agree, I wasn't the best player either. No one was. I was never composed in any games until today. But I know one thing, I gave everything I had, in every game I stepped on the court. It's a real pity that our season had to end this way, it really is.

It hurts even more to see the girls make it. Yes I know, they trained hard too. They deserved that spot. But hey, I am not being arrogant, but we trained ALOT hader and went through ALOT more obstacles. Yet, beacuse of the groupings, we are now watching and cheering them from the sidelines. That feeling sucks even more. When I had the chance to change everything, I didn't make full use of it. I CHOKED. AND THAT SUCKS. I tried so hard to not think about it, but I still did. It haunts me like a ghost. I am disappointed. In everyone, including myself.

Don't get me wrong. I love this bunch of jokers. True that they annoy me a lot, but I will still miss them. All the times we had together, the fun, the blood and sweat and the tough times. We went through all that, and I am very very happy that we pulled through. But we underachieved. Let's face it, we did. We deserve to be part of the announcements for Top 4. But we didn't and that's all that matters.

HAIZ, still, I will miss HC Floorball ):

What am I to do after school now? Now that I am half-sure that a certain promise wont be fufilled. So now what? The feeling of loneliness back again. This time worse.

I hate the fact that I am in a position I am in now. Neither here nor there. It sucks.

Sorry for all the rants, but I held in long enough for the entire season.

Because it sucks to know you were this close to your dreams and you missed it. The worse thing of all is that, you don't have a second chance.

That's all for today,
See Ya

6/5/2011

2011-05-06T20:25:00.000+08:00

Before catching up.

Hi peeps!

I just wanted to blog before I start to TRY and catch up with my work again. HAIZ.

Season has been fun and meaningful. As Coach said it, " This is A Div for us to remember" Although we didn't achieve our goals of making the semis, but I did say, we put on a great fight (: I've never been part of team sports. Like serious competitions. When I first joined this CCA, I was just thinking of enjoyment and fun. What I really didn't expect was to fully commit myself to it and training hard to make myself a better player in this sport. First time I trained for something other than basketball. Although it's true basketball will always remain as my favourite sport to play, I think I have found a new life in HC Floorball.

Face it, I have a very screwed up JC life. But because of HC Floorball, it gave me a reason to keep my head up when coming to school. It gave me a reason to smile when I was down and gave me amazing friends that I never thought I would get.

As our last game as a team approaches, I start to re-call what we've been through as a team. When Caleb was still around, we were just thinking of having fun and never really thought of competing at a high level. When he left, we start getting bored and aimless. When Abdul came, our team started to get some energy but it quickly ended as he left. Then came Kenneth, who pushed our limits single training, yet at the same time, making it enjoyable for everyone of us.

Kenneth didn't just teach us floorball. He taught us, the right way of living life. Tough. Calm. And most importantly, never giving up. No matter how many times you fall, you better get back up as quickly as you fell. Because, there isn't always going to be someone there to pull you up. Kenneth, you may not have know it, but you are the first person I have ever respected at such a high regard. I will never forget everything you've taught us, be it life lessons or floorball. For that, wednesday against RV, I promise to bring my 'A' game which you so rightfully deserve to see from the team.

For those who didn't know, we held VJ to their lowest scoring output in many years. I take pride in being part of the team to do it. Kenneth, instilled in us the importance of teamwork. The importance of trust. And most importantly, the importance of will. I dont think any team wants to play Hwa Chong in floorball A Div anymore. Never will we let any other one say, "Hwa Chong, good la, can thrash"

If they want to win us, you better let them bleed blood.

Kenneth. HC Floorball. From Line 1 to Line 4 to the keepers. Thanks for everything you have given me as friends or as a integral part of my life. Without you, I would not have so much fun. Without you guys, I would never know my limits. And without you guys, I would never know I could do so much when I am committed to something. Thank you <3

Because life isn't measured by the number of breaths you take, it's about the number of moments that takes your breath away. (: HC Floorball, a team for the ages (:

That's all for today,
See Ya~

3/5/2011

2011-05-03T20:50:00.002+08:00

Misery

Misery- Maroon 5

So scared of breaking it
But you won't let it bend
And I wrote two hundred letters
I won't ever send
Sometimes these cuts are so much
Deeper than they seem
You'd rather cover up
I'd rather let them be
So let me be
And I'll set you free

[CHORUS]

Your salty skin and how
It mixes in with mine
The way it feels to be
Completely intertwined
It's not that I didn't care
It's that I didn't know
It's not what I didn't feel,
It's what I didn't show
So let me be
And I'll set you free

[CHORUS]

You say your faith is shaken
You may be mistaken
You keep me wide awake and
Waiting for the sun
I'm desperate and confused
So far away from you
I'm getting here
I don't care where I have to go

Why do you do what you do to me, yeah
Why won't you answer me, answer me yeah
Why do you do what you do to me yeah
Why won't you answer me, answer me yeah

[CHORUS]

Pretty much sums it up.

Hopefully, I can just focus on the task on hand.

That's all for today,
See Ya!

2/5/2011

2011-05-02T19:54:00.000+08:00

Unrequired Annoyance

Hi peeps!

Omg, the long weekends are ending! ): Haiz, I've been going out almost everyday since Friday. Basically, my schedule has been packed. It has been quite some time since I've been that busy.

And my parents are not helping by annoying me with the stupidest of stuff -.-

I borrowed 132 dollars for Huang Cheng tickets and cake for Ying Xun. I told them that I did get the money back yesterday but because they didn't had change and it was getting late, I decided to get it on tuesday instead so that I could rush home before 12. And for that, I was scolded and given black faces by my parents. Apparently, they say I will always find a lot of this kind of stupid stuff to do. Like real. I hardly gone out since Blocks and even if I did, I never really claimed money from them. And the best thing is, my dad goes out all the time with his friends. Almost weekly. Nice. It's not like I am having a blast of my life or something.

I was already pretty screwed by my Blocks results. And I have to focus on my Floorball season now in hope getting to Top 4 to achieve our goals as a team. Yet at the same time, I've to do some work so that I won't get myself screwed by teachers when I am back in school.

Thanks a lot. Seriously.

Haiz, I can't think properly now. I am in this semi-conscious state, which I've no idea how I reached such a state. Everything around me seems blurry and I can't think straight. I am just typing whatever that comes to my mind now actually -.-

Oh right, it was Kenneth and Dawei's Birthday celebration today. Finally got to play some basketball after so long, though I was pretty lucky that I didn't overexert or got myself injured. >< Although the suprise screwed up, it still turned out pretty okay I suppose? We still managed to pour Kenneth's entire body with dark soya sauce, oil, yoghurt etc. etc... and Dawei got about almost the same stuff. Jason Seow FTW <3 Hahaha.

Then went over Kenneth's house for some relaxing session. I just basically stoned in front of the comp and caught up with NBA stuff.

My mom just came in to give me that black face again. Sort of like cold war now, but for some reason, I don't seem bothered by it. :/ Oh well.... Haiz. Life in a mess now.

I would just catch up with some work, relax abit and get some sleep. There's a game tomorrow. NJ, watch out.

Because I don't know what's going on, but at least I know what are my priorities as of now. Focus, focus, focus. COME ON.

That's all for today,
See Ya~

22/4/2011

2011-04-22T20:14:00.000+08:00

So Close

Hi peeps!

I can see the day of my first match just round the corner already... 28th April 2011.

Time really flies huh? To think it was 5 months ago when Coach first came in to take us and accepted the challenge of bringing that ridiculously lousy and undisciplined team to greater heights. And now, in just 6 days, we are going to play the defending champions MJC.

Respect to Coach for sticking with us up till now. Despite being pestered by other schools and all the work he has to put in for travelling and coming to train us at night, he still stuck with us. He always expect the best of us, expects more and more and mentally and physically challenges us. Always there to push our limits yet there to make training fun while tough at the same time.

Yes, we are the underdogs going into A Divisions. Everyone is looking at us as a team they will just enjoy beating. I am not saying we are not and we are here to win the championship and walkover every team. But hey, we're a different team from people expect and the only chance of walk-ing over us, is over 19 dead bodies. I am not bragging us as the best team, but I will say we are a contending team. Not enough to make people fear us, but we will suprise a lot of teams. And if MJC is not careful, we are going to "whack the living shit out of them".

We came too far to just walk to MJC to give up. As Coach would put it, we ran hundreds of kilometres, did thousands of push-ups and pushed our limits not to just show up at A Divs.

Our team is built on effort and desire to win. Not on skill and great players. Is built on chemistry and team spirit. Not on great performances by certain players.

Right now, I am just hoping I will continue improving and I will be rid of my injuries. My freaking screwed up ankle and my toenail is halfway coming off -.- Sucks to be unable to play at my best :/ Hurting every step I take but I am not going to care, because playing through it is worth it. It's fun and I won't regret it.

Oh, I bought a new phone :D Xperia, havent got about to trying out the stuff yet, but hopefully it will be good. haha. But it's touch screen, which means it would be hard to sms -.- HAIZ. Stupid W705, just had to spoil -.-

Nothing less than 100%. That's how much I am going to give when I step on the court. Every. Single. Time.

That's all for today,
See Ya~

16/4/2011

2011-04-16T23:54:00.001+08:00

A Rude Welcome

Hi peeps!

I am home from friendly match against my alma mater, Catholic High School, and my juniors just gave a rude welcome. Not in the actual life sense, but more of a floorball sense.

Well, we pretty much lost the game for many reasons but I think most of it came from the lack of effort from most of our guys. I know the floor was pretty slippery, I know it was hard to run, I know they were good but, really? 10-3? To a secondary 4 team who played 2 matches before us?! Like seriously, I find it unacceptable myself. Frankly, I felt embarassed and disgusted.

Yet, some of them can still have fun and smile and joke and laugh after the match as though everything was good. Hey, I know I am not good enough to scold you guys yet, but that doesn't mean you all can just fool around during friendlies. -__-

In any case, I did improve a little from the previous friendly, but it didn't seem enough for me. At least, I felt that I could play a lot better. Quoting coach, "I still have some faith in both of you, don't make me lose that faith" Matt probably hates me for screwing up so badly today :/ If I had played a lot better, Matt probably wont be seen in such a bad light. :/ HAIZ.

That's it, I am training everyday. I know it's a little late, but better late than never. COME ON, FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS FOCUS :/

Oh, I bought a new pair of shoes, changed my blade and bought new and LONGER sweat bands. Hopefully, these little things would help.

Guys, let's wake up our bloody idea and start presenting ourselves in the way we train. 100% effort and nothing less. COME ON GUYS.

It's just round the corner. The chances are there but we just have to grab it. Give it a 100 % and GRAB IT. If we lost track of the goal, we will never get it. So, step up your game before people step on you.

That's all for today,
Keep faith,
See Ya

14/04/2011

2011-04-14T23:42:00.002+08:00

Liability

Hi peeps!

We just had our first friendly against some Div 2 team today and to say that I played like shit, would be a serious understatement. I was like the weakest link out there. Not really helping on offense, not doing much on the defensive end either. It's so freaking close to A Divs and now is not the time for me to be screwing up stuff that I shouldn't be, making mistakes that I shouldn't make and not fighting hard enough when I know I can give a lot more.

Guess I wasn't really suprised that I got subbed out for the second time this year. Screw it, I should just bang my head against the wall -.- Feeling like the liability of line 1, the team and even in other parts of my life: STUDIES.

Wtheck, like seriously. I spent 1 hour plus working on a question to get 8 marks out of 25. SERIOUSLY, FML. This is the 2nd '44' I got for block test already. ONE MORE MARK TO E AND I JUST CAN'T SQUEEZE THAT OUT. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

For whatever reasons, I am just annoyed and pissed off with myself. I keep telling myself, I need to work harder, I need to play better and I need to rest well. Yet, I am screwing up my tests, I am screwing up my first friendly and I am still injured everywhere. Seriously, is life trying to play a joke on me or something?!

Sorry TF, I just can't get it out of my mind. I know I shouldn't beat myself up so much but, SERIOUSLY?! It feels like nothing is going right for me (maybe except my bio results) and the only thing keeping me alive right now is me ignoring everything except the stuff I have to do.

I am living day by day. Not really caring so much about planning ahead anymore. I am totally just screwing up my own life. I keep telling myself I can ignore everything and go out there and do whatever I can and the best I can in whatever I am doing. Yet, I am still like this.

Haiz, it doesn't help either when almost everyone else is celebrating the win, the goals they scored and the plays they made. Maybe I am just being pessimistic. JUST MAYBE.

Okay, I am just going to try and sleep everything off.

Have you ever felt like the liability of a group of people? Have you ever felt like everything doesn't seem to go your way? What are you supposed to do?!

That's all for today,
See Ya.

9/4/2011

2011-04-09T23:20:00.000+08:00

Argh.

Hi peeps!

So busy nowadays with training and catching up on work that I hardly have time to blog. And even if I had the time, I would be watching NBA and that would be it. Occasional listening to new music covers. Other than that? Sleep.

Ironically, I am lacking sleep. Though it was a lot better than when I was having insomnia, but I am still like falling asleep all over the place. Can't imagine someone had to wake me up at the int -__-

Yet at the same time, I wonder, is all this pushing hard during CCA, worth it? Despite so much efforts being put in to try and keep the team focused, they are still the same. Mentally weak and yet not physically tough enough to fight the top tier teams. As much as I want this team to go far during A Div, it wont matter if it isn't a team effort. No one is going to do it alone, everyone needs to play a part. We can't just having only 8 players being able to play throughout A Divs. Does someone really need to fall for the entire team to become focused?

And now my results are taking a toll too. Yeah, I am still consoling myself that I didn't had enough time to study but I really know that I just didn't put in enough effort. Whatever.

At least the only consolation I have now is that my PW got an 'A'. Nothing much to be proud of when 92.7 % of the school gotten an 'A'. But still, nice to see nonetheless.

I feel so mentally drained and physically drained from all the trainings, PT and thinking of ways to improve our team. Yet at the same time, I've to maintain at least a LITTLE BIT of foundation so that it wont be such a hard climb back up when mugging. ._. Somehow, I am so hyped up for A Div now. I feel like going to play MJC now. LIKE NOW. Omg, I am nuts.

First friendly on thursday. That should really show us, how far we stand as a team and as lines. Hopefully it would be a nice match.

Okay, I should get some work done today. Yes, I know it's 11 PM now. But there's STJ tomorrow, so I can hardly waste much time. Still haven't thought of what to get for my mortal and angel. >.< HAIZ.

Mistaken, always second guessing, underestimated, look I am still around. F**kin' Perfect- P!nk

That's all for today,
See ya~

25/03/2011

2011-03-25T22:39:00.002+08:00

Block's Nightmare

Hi peeps!

Sorry for not blogging so long, I was studying for Blocks, which was a total disaster. And that is an understatement.

Thankfully, the results for blocks are not out yet so I can kid myself that I might have did okay when I know I didn't. If you are asking me like how bad my results are, I would say last in class. Have an idea now? :/

Life sucks.

Even basketball after that wasn't any better ._. I was like missing everything yesterday when I was playing -____- The only thing that turned out well was just playing through the night, though it wasn't basketball.

HAIZ.

Training's tomorrow. Hopefully I won't be off form and I won't be screwing up left and right again. I think I will lose it if I get subbed out again :/

As A div approaches, every training needs to be more intense than ever and our moment of truth is coming closer. 25th April is our first match. I am a little excited, nervous and yet, sad as we draw within a month of A divs.

Excited? I am finally going to play as a field player for the first time in A div and able to contribute a lot more in terms of energy and maybe A LITTLE BIT of skills.

Nervous? I am afraid I won't play well. It's our last year and I hope we can make the semis.

Sad? Once our A div is over, we will be left with only a few trainings left to be together as team that we have stood together since Jan. Keeps me wondering what I would be doing after A divs. After school that is. :/

SIANZ, Pax just gave me our groupings. It doesn't seem very favourable. At least at first glance. Hopefully when we play a few of them, it would be. :/

In case you didn't know, I am extremely competitive. I hate to lose. I fight to win.

On the biggest stage, when the spotlight turns on, we need to put our game face on. We will send a statement to every team we play and fear into our opponents. Because, we came too far and pushed too hard to lose.

That's all for today,
See Ya~

18/3/2011

2011-03-18T20:44:00.002+08:00

Replaceable and Worthless

Hi peeps!

Just came back from training, feeling shagged and disappointed.

It has come to the point whereby every possession is critical and there is not much room for mistakes. Desire to fight and play needs to be evident in every move you make. And damn it, I am not doing myself any good by screwing up so often.

Following my disgusting offensive play, coach subbed me out for others to take my position. I know it was best for the team but you can't blame me for wanting to beat the shit out of myself could you? Yeah, and then Yin Hong came in to take my position.

Matt, isn't that what you wanted? I know you dont REALLY mean for me to get out of line 1, but I do sense some truth in what you say. I know we have no chemistry and you don't trust me to do anything right. But we've only started playing together for less than one month and without even really trusting me, how the heck are we supposed to gain chemistry. When half the time I am open yet you choose to force it into the center, it really shows how much faith you have in me as your teammate and as your forward pair. (I don't really have to worry much since you dont read blogs anyway.) I really don't mind playing a lesser role and just be a role player, the one behind the scenes, whatever you call it. I did my best to adapt but the least you can do is to at least try and help me with it?

I know, I am not good enough and I was not up to form. I would work on it, because, it sucks when you know that anyone on the team can just strike you off from line 1 and take your place. I know I don't show it when you keep saying that you rather I not be your forward pair, but hey, I have my emotions too. It doesn't help either when half the team is actually niao-ing you about things that don't exist. Screw it, I know I am joker and I like having fun, but there comes a time when you have the draw the line.

Replaceable and worthless. That's exactly how I feel after today. Yet at the same time, I've to keep doing my job as an Exco trying to maintain the team's harmony, not easy when you're already feeling like shit.

No I am not shifting blame from myself. I am just ranting. Yes I would train harder and keep working on the flaws I have. But lacking the drive and someone to tell you that he gives a damn about how you're feeling during training is really killing me. I am human, I have my emotions too. I can't act like I am all happy yet trying to bring the team together for one memorable run.

Screw it, nothing's working right for me now.

When the feeling that someone just kicked you from the back and kept you down engulfs you. Feeling worthless and replaceable, yet no one that made you feel this way knows.

Maintaing the harmony of this team. Easier said than done.

That's all for today,
See Ya.

14/3/2011

2011-03-14T20:06:00.002+08:00

Slowing down, can be good

sometimes

Hi peeps!

I am supposed to be studying for Blocks and everything but somehow, after watching a video on TED, it made me want to blog. Not that it was telling me to like reflect or something, but somehow, the points the speaker brought up was, pretty relevant in everyone's daily lives.

I can sum that video up in two words: Slow Down.

I pride myself in being fast in running in my CCA. And also to maintain that speed over a long stretch of time. Basically, I love speed, I like doing things quickly and I rush through things a lot. Although it's ridiculous to suggest for me to actually take a walk in the park and pick up a rose to smell it, but somehow I sort of get what the person was talking about. It's about quality of the work given, not the quantity.

We get caught up with life so much that sometimes, we do things a little too fast for our own good. We rush through tutorials to meet deadlines, we rush through our food so as to have more time to do something. Basically, speed is really part of our lives, and that would mean everyone, like really EVERYONE. ( Especially you TF :O)

The consequences as he put it, are that, the stuff we do, tends to be more of less quality. Our inter-personal relationships tends to be less deep and we tend to end up abit more unproductive that we could be. Sometimes, we should really just spend time doing, nothing. Our lives dont really call for such practice of slow-ness, but I do feel that it really does more good than harm should we put it in practice. Don't believe me? Look at the number of people who are falling sick in HC. Our health has deteoriated with our 'speed living'.

Of course, I am not going to use this as an excuse to not study for Blocks (though I DID LOVE TO) but I think everyone could just apply it. Like, you know, spend more time understanding the stuff being taught rather than just, you know memorising and understand and go, touch-and-go to make it short. I am not the kind of mugger students so I most probably would fail trying this out. Haha.

In any case, I truly believe that leading it slowly usually allows us to appreciate stuff around us better. Thus, a better quality life. (:

I have wasted enough time here (How hypocritical :P ) and I need to get back to mugging bio. HAHA.

Looking closely, no one's rushing us. We are the one rushing ourselves. Instead of putting every minute to efficient use, why not try putting every minute to good use. (:

Alright, I have really blogged enough, HAHA,
That's all for today,
See Ya~

12/3/2011

2011-03-12T23:17:00.000+08:00

Close My Eyes

Hi peeps!

Can someone please save me? D: How am I supposed to study for Block Test 1 when I feel like going to sleep the ENTIRE DAY?!

I went to see a doctor yesterday and apparently he says it's some throat infection. Then he gave me a cough syrup that causes drowsiness. And I supposed to eat that 3 times a day. So every six hours, I feel like going to sleep a little more. ._. Thanks a lot Lee Medical Clinic ._.

Kill me. ._.

Apparently Jonathan's birthday party has been cancelled because a lot of people couldnt make it. I am supposed to feel sad about this but somehow I am feeling relief >.< Maybe because I needed more rest? Or rather more sleep -.-

It's not like I don't have the motivation to mug or something, because I really do. Apparently, there's some rule in HC that you have to meet promotional criteria or else you would be suspended from CCA. So I will (*TOUCH WOOD*) kiss my A'Div goodbye should I not meet it. All that's left is doing it.

HAIZ.

And the coughing has not stop.

A Div is approaching and yet the guys team doesn't seem to know it, still being sloppy during training. HAIZ. How to instill discipline when I can't be totally disciplined all the time? ._. Kenneth, save us. Please.

Talking about floorball, CHS Floorball won B Div Finals <3 HAHAHA. It was nice to watch it live :D

Oh shucks, writer's block ._.

Maybe I should just stop blogging and start mugging now. ._. Darn it, I shall do that, at most fall asleep while reading.

When it's so hard to focus on the goal ahead, you just have to fight and push yourself a little darn closer to it, so that you see it a little clearer.

Alright, that's all for today,
See Ya!~

3/3/2011

2011-03-03T23:03:00.000+08:00

Feeling of nothing-ness

Hi peeps! (:

Ever felt like you dont feel anything at all? I dont know, that's basically how I feel. Like, not really happy, nor really sad. I am sort of taking things one day at a time. Not that I would not like to planned ahead and do stuff ahead of time, but somehow, I just dont have the feeling to do so.

With our first friendly coming up, our coach has promised us a game of dominance and suprise on our side. In his words, "When we play, we whack the living shit out of them" Heh. Feels good to know that the system you're in is great and confidence is building up. While our first friendly comes, it also means that some of them are going to say goodbye. Although some entered the team late, but I've to say, we have come together as a group, to play floorball. Not as individuals, but as a team. You know there's always 19 other people with the same goal as you, wanting to win.

I should really do a note for them before our team gets split up. Alright, I will do it tomorrow. I am kind of sleepy now :/

Aye, kind of worried for my bio now. I'm sorry but the teacher I have now just doesn't bring confidence. Maybe I should try to turn to Mrs Cheng for consults again. At least, she was productive. ._.

A levels seem so far ahead. Even A divs seem that way to me. I know I would come back to this blog and regret saying it, but hey, I really feel that way.

Maybe the reason why I am feeling nothing is because I am tired? :O

I've to admit, I am not the best person when it comes to time management. Neither am I the best friend someone could ever have because of it. But I do try my best to maintain all the friendships that are important to me and not disappoint anyone. It's not easy huh? I'm not saying I've like tons of friends, but I'm like saying, I don't know how to prioritise them. But I do know this, I always have people to fall back on and people to talk to if I ever need a listening ear. At least most of the time. Because of that, I always want to be there for everyone of my friends, but I have hardly been successful huh?

Anyways, thanks Wei Xian for always picking up my calls and helping/accompanying me to do a lot of shit. I should really tell you to read this blog JUST for this post. HAHAHA.

Okay okay, I better not go on before I go emotional again. Sheesh.

Tomorrow is a crap day. I think I shall pack my bag and sleep for now.

TF TF TF TF TF TF, let you see your name until you happy. HAHA. You are always so tired recently, can you please catch some rest soon? I don't want to see you sleeping while standing up ok? Dangerous stuff. You're made of amino acids, not metal so ya, GET SOME REST, don't make me worry. (:

Lamb, cheer up, I dont know what happen to you luh, you always so secretive one ._. Jiayou with your CCA, you will do fine trust me (: You pro enuf. HAHA.

You won't always be successful. But if you're afraid to fail, you don't deserve to successful.

Alright, this turned out to be a pretty long post :O
Haha, that's all for today,
See Ya

21/02/2011

2011-02-21T18:01:00.002+08:00

Because I fear..

Hello peeps!

Long while since I blogged, kind of hard when you are JC2 student with a competition season coming up. I can feel my body breaking down from all the 'wear and tear'.

School is starting to swing at me with full force and I still haven't got used to it. I seem to be anticipating every weekend or break I could get, it's as if I can't wait to get out, somewhat true though... but still :/

I am supposed to be studying for Econs test now, but I just finished watching the All-Star Game today so I shall give myself some buffer time before I continue to do work, might even write to my angel while I am at it.

Floorball 'A' Div is starting soon and I am getting more and more nervous as the day for the cut for 16 and 8 comes.... Talking about this, I have to sms training timings and days. HAIZ.

Perhaps I really losing confidence in myself, but nonetheless, I've been stagnating since god knows how long?! Karma? Maybe, but I really want to play and play well during 'A' Div. My goal has remained the same throughout: Top 4 for 'A' Div. Nothing less. It's what drives me to play with an injured wrist or a sprained ankle. I should make a note for the retards from floorball before the results are released for the 16 and 8 playing. :/

On a different and random topic, I am beginning to feel like a masked man all of a sudden. Perhaps not that I would like it, but it's the only way to keep things in 'harmony' I suppose. I try as much to be myself, but sometimes, things and fate and life and all the other random stuff just disallows it. It calls for me to be someone I don't want to be. And for the matters of love, I can't even be bothered to think about it anymore. Too tired and too much to consider regarding such stuff. Perhaps I am thinking too much. As always.

Hoping TF's CCA stuff faster ends so that we can study together quickly. I am getting scared for exams now too. ):

I thought I had a lot to say, but it didn't seem that way in the end huh? Perhaps I answered some of the stuff I wanted to speak out inside of me. Perhaps I forgotten about it while those that are not forgotten nor answered goes to my blog. YAY!

My blog is not dead, is just sleepy (: *hints at someone*

Because holding on is so much easier than letting go, because it's much easier to feed yourself false hopes that it is to go through the pain. But I believe, going through the motion, is much more satisfying. It's not about the result, it's about the process.

That's all for today,
See Ya~

2/2/2011

2011-02-02T21:23:00.001+08:00

Recap

Hi peeps!

It's Chinese New Year Eve! (: I was kind of pissed off by my parents this morning, but oh well , the day ended well and WILL END WELL. First time, in my 17 years of life, has my dad ask me to stay up late. LIKE WOW. He literally said, I could choose not to sleep today. So well, seeing I have so much time to burn, I am here to blog! (:

I went to visit DSCC, my ex-tuition centre/before-and-after-school-care center after so long. Well, they sort of invited me to go for reunion dinner on Tuesday but I had training and I couldn't make it. So, I delibrately made a trip down on Monday. Just to see, how's everything going there.

Pretty shocked by the attitude of kids nowadays, after hearing all the stories from my ex-tuition teacher. Apparently, kids nowadays dare to throw chairs and slam tables when they are pissed off. Mind you, we are talking about primary school kids here ._. Of course, being an 'alumni', I did try to help. I was pretty surprised by my own patience with those kids then. I usually go for the 'black face method' to try and help. After that, I sat down abit to help out. Let's just put it this way, the innocence of kids really threw me off balance for a while. I would talk about this later, but yeah, it did.

Training on Tuesday was fun. Even for some slackers :P Well, I think when teams bond together, even the toughest of trainings can be fun ba. Perhaps things would get even better going forward. SIXTEEN!!!!! D:

Well, today was just, lame. Like seriously. I stayed throughout the entire CNY celebration of HC for no good reason, when I could've been at CHS talking with close friends of mine. Although I did ended up playing some ball, but it was all good at least.

Anyway, my trip to my ex-tuition center sort of made me felt abit, I dont know, uneasy? After studying in HC for a year, I am becoming easily uptight and ticked off. Because of what I've experienced, I tend to jump to conclusions quickly. You can hardly blame me, I've never gotten such crap before. I used to be a lot more carefree, and definitely, trusting.

Now? Uh-uh, not so much. I was talking to innocent little kids and I actually didn't let my guard down, afraid of what they might do or say. Until it hit me, THEY ARE INNOCENT. LIKE TOTALLY UNSURE OF HOW AND WHAT WOULD HAPPEN. Instead, kids look to NOW. I wish to go back to that state too. ): I didn't get to talk face-to-face with any of my close friends. That sucks. Although I have to thank WeiXian for dinner and that LOOOONG crap talk last week, there are things that still bug me, which I forgot to mention to him.

HAIZ.

I feel like I am growing OLDER. Not really, maturing but rather OLD. Let's hope things would turn out for the better after CNY. I will keep my fingers crossed.

The innocence of young and unpolluted mind. The complexity of a experienced one. Who would have thought, 1 year in a particular education system, could change so much?

That's all for today,
See Ya~

23/01/2011

2011-01-23T22:59:00.000+08:00

When your mind is unclear,

Hello peeps!

I am supposed to do homework throughout this entire weekend but thanks to cancellation in study dates and the seduction of my computer, I failed ):

Training on saturday was just D: My coach sort of scolded the team and some of the stuff that he said, I was guilty of it. But not all though. :/

After that, study date with Sec 2 Clique was cancelled, although I didnt feel like going as I didn't want to waste my time travelling there to study like 2 hours?! Not worth it, so I went for dinner with HCFB. Then, Matthew decided to pang me aft dinner so I had to go home to study, which of course, I failed miserably.

As for today, I wasted my morning trying to find out whether I could swim. Conclusion? I am declaring non-swimmer during friday's test. :/ SIANZ, Is like in the middle of can and cannot. Sucks man -_-

Came back home and just caught up with the NBA games today :S So I only started doing work JUST NOW?!

Only finished Differential Equations for this entire weekend. And I have more work coming up tomorrow, THANKS TO HBL AH -____-

It better be worth it.

Anyway, I did spent my time on looking those letters I have received throughout the whole of last year. It kinds of pain me to know that, people who used to be very close, could just be world's apart within a few days. Not only that, the matters of school and CCA stuff are like crashing upon me and I seem do be doing everything for the CCA. It uses as much time as I do for watching videos on youtube. :/ That leaves me less time to think, with less time to think and clear my mind, it starts to go astray, which brings me to the state I am in now: Confused and Lost.

I don't really know what I want as of the near future. I don't even know how everything is going to fit into place. I do know who I need in my life but I dont know what I am aiming to achieve. Let's just say, I feel like I am going to waste my 2 years in HC. Not because I am in HC Floorball, more because, the stuff that I have handled and experienced.

Well, perhaps in the near near future, I would be able to spend some time and just think. Literally, stone and clear my mind.

Because when your mind is in a state of confusion, it tends to affect the other parts of your body. And most importantly, the heart. As of now, I dont know what I am really feeling and thinking, but the least I know of myself now, is that, I am confused and lost.

That's all for today,
See Ya~

11/01/2011

2011-01-11T20:49:00.000+08:00

Hi retard, I am posting for you.

Hi peeps!

I usually dont want to blog on weekdays cos I am supposed to be mugging for As, but since it's open house tomorrow, and there's a retard that's flaming my tagboard, so, why not?

Anyway, I have decided to stay, because, the coach saw the problem in the team during the training, and actually talked about it. Well, since a coach can see the problem, an experienced one like Kenneth, should be able to solve it. So, let's just say, I am going all out.

Anyway, for the 'lol' guy. I blog to reflect on my own life, keep those memories that are important to me, because, this is much more lasting that writing one. Also, it is to let my friends from other schools that are close to me, update themselves about my own life. I don't really care if other people read the blog. However, I appreciate constructive comments that helped.

BUT, I didn't really find your comments constructive, especially when you were a total cock-eye which I have already replied to you. So, please, go look in the mirror and speak to it. You will find a lot more entertaintment than being a keyboard warrior. In case you didnt know, I dont do things for achievement like you. I do things that I enjoy doing. And, well, I enjoy basketball. I never claimed that I could make the team. I wouldnt dare to anyway. So before you come to my blog to talk thrash, why don't you go somewhere to show your 'intelligence' and please, read carefully next time before you speak again. Thanks.

If you don't know what I have went through and feel like running your mouth, please feel free to take a number and join the queue of people who are waiting for me to give them my fullest attention.

That's all for today,
See Ya~

06/01/2010

2011-01-06T23:33:00.000+08:00

At the crossroads once again.

Hi peeps!

I have placed myself at the crossroads once again. And this time, it seems, the decision I make would most probably determine, the ending I would have for J2. Perhaps, I am exaggerating the consequences, but please hear me out.

I made a bad decision a year ago, to choose to come to HC, ignoring my friends and choosing them over something less worth it.

I made another after awhile, choosing a subject combination of the toughest.

I made another decision after to choose floorball over MAD and perhaps, basketball. I am beginning to think, it was a bad decision too. Maybe not so much for MAD, I am just not a right fit there.

Looking at the team now at hand. The team that we will be selecting at least 9 from, I realised, I may have made the wrong decision. We have people un-motivated to even give more effort. We have people putting themselves before the team. Simply, we will be sending 16 individuals to A Div as a group to compete. Not a team.

I chose Floorball over MAD. I was backstabbed for it, being put words in my mouth that I didn't or never meant to say. I did admin work too. I even did stuff out of my job scope, at least, what I feel is out of my job scope. For all that, I will be getting a less than fufilling run. Who knows, maybe next week, there would be a change, but from what I see now, this is how I feel. And this feeling, is telling me to quit. Not because the training has gotten tougher, that's not the way I roll. But, because, I have lost the passion that has once brought me here. Not for the sport, for the team.

Perhaps partly because of our wonderful teacher-in-charge, who has hardly done anything for us. If you take up a CCA, you better be able to be responsible to it. Don't give us lame excuses, like seriously, 3 CCAs? SO? You chose to take this up, you only have yourself to blame.

Perhaps because, basketball is more of, my thing. The stuff I do. I am just more of a basketball player, than a floorball player.

Ryan is telling me to leave for my own good, to leave this team to find a place where I can truly enjoy.

Wei Xian is asking me to stay, because, I came so far, to give up now.

To say the truth, I dont even know who to listen to, sort of like a pendulum now, swinging from one end to the other.

I need to make my decision and fast. Because when school re-opens, if I do choose to commit to floorballl, I would be training from 7pm to 9pm. It's gonna be tough, so I have to decide fast.

Someone? Anyone?

After walking through so many pathways, deciding between different paths, I end up at the crossroad, once again.

That's all for today,
See Ya

05/01/2010

2011-01-05T18:06:00.000+08:00

Damn it.

Hi peeps!

If I get a hundred dollars everytime my parents piss me off, I did be rich. Like really rich.

My parents are VERY UNsupportive of my CCA. YAY! ._.

I just came home from buying a new floorball stick because my old one was lost, and the first thing greeted me was my mom's glare. I am already like having a sore throat and damn tired, and she started to try and lecture me while I was outside. Being annoyed, I just demanded her to open the door.

I went in and instead of stopping, she went on. She started saying ridiculous stuff like, why only I need to change my stick while others dont need. And I just couldnt stand it and just, well, argued back, rather loudly I supposed. Something like asking her dont act smart when she doesn't even know anything.

She did went on but I can't be bothered and I just sort of, went into the toilet and closed the door shut.

How come only my parents from HC Floorball is so unsupportive?! I dont see other people having this kind of problems?!

Sucks to have parents unsupportive of SPENDING A SINGLE CENT on your CCA. To think I lived through 11 years of that.

Can't imagine living like this in a crucial 'A' Level Year. HAIZ. Can't imagine what they did say if they found out my CCA is going start at 7pm when school re-opens. Probably ask me to quit and join some club which doesn't require a single cent.

When things wasn't going right, I went left. Only to find out, that both routes were dead ends, with different endings. One against the way you live and the other against the life you live.

That's all for today,
See Ya

03/01/2011

2011-01-03T21:26:00.000+08:00

Meet The Fockers and the DJ

Hi peeps!

Hope you are enjoying whatever is left of the holidays or the holidays that has ended for you! (:

Well, I did. :D

Went out to bball after so looooooooooooooooooong. And I have to say, my stamina is really deteoriating :/

After that, we went to meet Ryan at J8 to buy tickets for "Meet The Fockers". Had a quick lunch, bought some tidbits and drinks from NTUC and smuggled into the cinema. Heh.

The movie was not really AMAZING or NICE or something, but it was entertaining, not really worth the ticket's every cent, but I would say an average movie? Funny though. Haha. Just a movie about love, relationship and a lot of bad luck. HAHA.

Gathered outside of J8 for some talk cock session, which turned into a truth or dare session that then turned into a ONLY dare session. In the end, the only dares we did were prank calls. HAHA. Started calling people to act as Pizza Hut Delivery or DJs from 91.3 FM. HAHA. It's kind of funny hearing people really trying to sing Baby and Swear It Again out of the phone. Hilarious to the max. >.<

SIANZ.

School is like starting soon and I am supposed to do work. Ironically, Sorry Sorry is ringing in my ear now -____-

Haiz, perhaps I should just do work until someone calls me to dota~

It's nice to know, there are people you can act totally retarded with and around. Even better to know, they can sit down and lend a listening ear to you whenever you need it. (:

That's all for today,
See Ya~

30/12/2010

2010-12-30T13:02:00.000+08:00

New Year Countdown at 2!

Hello peeps! (:

Josephhhhh, seeee, I promised to blog. :D

The year is coming to an end!! Which means school is starting soon too. AHHH D:

Looking at the pile of unfinished homework, I am most probably screwed when school re-opens. I won't be around to blog during the new year itself so I might as well do those reflection of the year and hoping for the better now. HAHA.

First time doing a Countdown outside (yes I know, damn sua-ku), but I think I will enjoy it, though I relinquish the fact that I will be losing a lot of money due to mahjong before counting down..... HAHA.

Well, I did a lot of stupid things this year, yet, still managed to scrape through J1, though barely. I still managed to secure a position in my CCA. Most importantly, I managed to make new friends and maintain friendships that are close to me. I suppose, sometimes, it's just fate. Whether you are meant to be with someone as a friend/stranger/lover, it will happen in the end. So I have to say, I have a lot of fate with my Sec 4 clique~

Let's hope next year will not have any disasters, especially academically wise. No more being back-stabbed. No more letdowns in my CCA. No more feeling lonely. *cross fingers*

Sephhhh, I know you are reading this, I hope you did well for your re-test! I hope for the best for you (:

So much for a fun year of 2010.

Let's look forward from now on.

Put one foot in front of the other, the next thing you know, you are running.

Hope you guys enjoy your last days of the year! (:

Thinking about us, what we gonna be. I realised, it was only just a dream. [Just A Dream - Nelly]

That's all for today,
See ya~

19/12/2010

2010-12-19T18:52:00.001+08:00

Holiday Season~

Hi peeps!

Apparently, someone said I have not been updating my blog and it is 'dead'. So here I am! (:

Christmas Day is coming! Sadly, that also mean, the year is coming to an end and J2 is about start D:

But anyway, KT invited me and Jason to go to his house for christmas for presents, although he told me that it's okay if I don't get his presents, but I think better get something for him ba, feel bad receiving presents for no reason >< So, JASON SEOW, if you see this, come msn me to arrange a day to go his house~

Oh, right. We finally gotten a coach before year begun. But it's kind of messy and everything now. Apparently, we have to find another day other than weekdays from 4.30 - 6.30 to fit another training day in. ._. And pax is actually suggesting a 7-9pm training at an external venue. I am actually fine with breaking the school rules( CCAs are not allowed to held further than 7pm) for training, but I would be reaching home at 10 plus and only sleeping around 11 plus or so. Like what the hell?!

The new coach is pretty strict and very demanding, which is actually what our guys needed anyway, a rude wake up call. He is great and everything, the stuff he teach are really stuff that are important for A Divs. But. I have some mixed feelings towards him. He isn't very nice to feedback ._. And doesn't understand us well enough. :/ Oh well, as long as it helps us win, I suppose I shouldn't be complaining much, but I can't see how training will be fun anymore seeing that it is pretty physical and tough. ( My thighs are still aching -.-)

Sian. I and I is staring at me still. I know I am still supposed to do it, but TF, I dont want to do. It's so boring ): Haiz.

Because there are always friends there for me, so I should not let myself feel lonely. Never.

That's all for today
See Ya~

13/12/2010

2010-12-13T12:28:00.000+08:00

Updating.

Hi peeps!

No, this blog is not dead yet. I am just lazy. :P

Being caught up with all the activities in life, sometimes, you really need to just slow down and reflect abit. Reflect about our actions and our desires. I sound too philosophical, but nevermind that.

This would most probably be the last holiday I can enjoy as a 17-year old. ._.

I think Coach Chai put it best: "You're rushing through an vast city, going through street by street, believing that there's so much more to see. Until you turn the corner and find yourself already at the outskirts; never having really explored the place, and now unable to go back. How time plays us out"

How time flies.

It was only last year when I just finished O's and prepared to enter J1 to enjoy my life as a year one before rushing my work in J2.

Well, I still haven't got used to JC life yet and I didn't get to enjoy much of J1. Still, life has been kind to me I suppose. Despite so many silly mistakes, it led me to a home in HC Floorball, a place where I can seek refuge in whenever I am down. It led to a few close friends and even taught me how to treasure my Sec 4 Clique.

I suppose I would never love my life. But, I think there are people and things out there that will at least keep me from being down.

I am getting kind of annoyed with my dad already. He is starting to get into this 'fortune-telling' business abit too much. Putting too much in store of it. None of it make sense. Because life is full of surprises and shocks. It is never possible to predict life. You can only predict consequences.

Haiz, I am bored at home. Not that I have nothing to do, I can see the stack of holiday homework that I left on the shelf, too lazy to touch. Nothing meaningful to do, perhaps I should dancing for fun again? Aimless-ness in life does feel pretty bad I suppose.

How much more can I take of this before I break? Will this overcast fade or be the last I see the sun today? [Tyler Ward + Eppic - Home]

That's all for today,
Enjoy the holidays,
See ya~

02/12/2010

2010-12-02T13:23:00.000+08:00

Wake Up.

Hi peeps!

I just woke up. Ironic enough that's the title. But, no, it does refer to me just waking up.

Yesterday's training was disastrous. It was unplanned and everything was just messy and all over the place. But still, the reason why it was disastrous was not really because of it being messy. It was more of, jokers and idiots who are never serious. I admit, I am not really the best Exco member, neither am I a good role model nor example. BUT, at the end of the day, I am still one of them. So when it comes to serious business, I don't like to see idiots fooling around. I hate it when people are never serious all the time, always joking around.

Wake up.

You think I am not fit to be Exco? How about trying it yourself? You think is just authority and using it? Dream on. If you have no idea, how much we have individually given to the CCA and the amount admin work we have done for you guys, then, shut up. Don't go around saying stuff that is plain retarded. Just because, you can't see what we do and we don't publicise what we've done for you all doesn't mean then we have done nothing. So stop thinking and acting like you know everything, it makes me sick.

HAIZ

Went to Shane's house for 2k10 before leaving for national team trial. No, it was nothing amazing to be in a trial, but the players there were. It was a eye-opener for me. I thought I stood a chance against some of the elite players, but, that was just wishful thinking of my part. ._. Time to buck up.

In any case, if the team continues to proceed the way it is now, we are screwed for A divs. Forget about top 4 and all the rubbish aims we have set. I think it will be sort of top 2, from the bottom. With people not even serious, I think Matt put it the best, "If you dont want to be serious, then don't come. But don't expect yourself to playing for A Div."

Wake up guys, wake up. Playtime, is long over.

This is the real deal. We are sub-standard and not even close. So guys, wake up, before your lack of attitude comes back to bite you.

That's all for today,
See Ya

23/11/2010

2010-11-23T12:07:00.000+08:00

Some Parents

Hi peeps!

I woke up early in the morning, in a mood to get some homework done finally and my parents just had to spoil it for me.

I went out yesterday to shop for clothes and i bought a black sleeveless hoodie and white hoodie shirt. I was kind of happy with my own decision and came back getting a stare from my mom but I just ignored it.

HOWEVER, this morning, they had to raise the issue to a whole different level. They claim that I have bought 2 of the same type of shirts and I wasted money. They even claim that I lied to them that Bugis Street usually has no receipt. WOW. Seriously. Apparently, the stuff I bought are CRAP and RUBBISH. "烂货" as they would call it.

Thanks a lot. I purposely stayed at home to rest and get some work done, deciding not to go out and ball with Sec 4 Clique. And this is what you do to me.

Seriously, some parents I have here.

My friends know me better than my parents. End of story.

Enough ranting here. I am sick of this freaking generation gap and my parents unreasonabilty and stubborness. And for the 2nd time on my blog, FUCK THIS.

Don't come and tell me that they are my parents afterall. Because, these are not the kind of parents anyone would be able to stand. Period.

That's all for today,
See Ya

19/11/2010

2010-11-19T15:20:00.000+08:00

Seriously is serious.

Hi peeps!

Just came back from training and feeling quite shagged. Today was physical training so there's no stickwork and it was nuts. Ran all the way from school to Botanic Gardens, led by Matt. Lesson learnt: Stretch before training or prepared to cramp in your calves. ZZZZ. At least, we went further than we expected this time. :/

Anyway, CCA leadership workshop has taught me something, some people deserves to be killed. ._. And I am serious about this. There was this thing of categorising members to different types according to their abilities and drive. A member that actually is out of all 4 categories, exists. Basically, is either, high skill or low skill and high will or low will. Damn it, I just saw a guy with LOW skill and NO will. I am fine if you actually have low skill, but you've gotta learn to actually improve and everything. HOWEVER, if you think that you are already so good and don't need to improve, then you better think twice. Even the captain is finding ways to improve his own abilities and you think you dont. Seriously. LEARN.

And sometimes, I really feel I made the wrong decision leaving as a keeper. The current one's attitude is just SUCK. Serious. Skips training with lame excuses. Doesn't put in effort during training. Give up easily.

How the heck are we going to make it if not everyone is motivated?!

So much for all the aims that we've set.
100% attendance.
Top 4 'A' Div.
1st in 'A' Div.
Having fun together.
Build a team spirit.

We might as well kiss these aims goodbye if this goes on. Sick and tired of actually thinking of ways to improve these people when I should actually be thinking of ways to improve my own abilities. Seriously.

Enough ranting. These people dont deserve my concern. :/

I feel that I have stagnant in my game. Darn it.

JASON SEOWWWW, I need to play basketball again :/ Academics have not even stepped in yet and I am already requiring de-stressing. No wonder I hardly get any work done. :/

Because I can joke with you, play a fool with you and laugh with you. But when I put things in a serious tone and make it obvious that I am serious like, " SERIOUSLY" Just stop joking around.

That's all for today,
See Ya~

17/11/2010

2010-11-17T14:47:00.001+08:00

Tired TTM.

Hi peeps! (:

Sorry I havent been blogging much, I had a lot of stuff on ._.

Just came back from CCA Leadership Workshop to replace Paxton, who could have went but didn't ._. Anyway, it was pretty crap to me except for the personaility thingy and the socialising part. The height elements was pretty much boring to me as I had already experienced the same thing from Sec 2 Camp. ._. In the end, I was allowed to leave early for Ares Fac Outing.

Rushed home to wash up and immediately left home. Ended up still being late ZZZ. The Outing was kind of boring, like, nothing much to do. Except the end, when we got to sabo Lester Phua. (Y) Keep requesting for him to strip during the entire event. Damn shuang. HAHA.

Anyway, reached home damn late and had to immediately sleep to prepare for training today. O.O Wa, I was never awake for more than an hour at home until now....

Oh, at least the leadership workshop allowed our CCA to sort out some serious matters that we need to sort out. HC Floorball will get Top 4 next year, even if I have to go all out, I will. (Y)

Life is still pretty much the same.

Alright, I will end my post here,
I need to dota with Pax and the rest,
See ya~

09/11/2010

2010-11-09T22:08:00.002+08:00

End of PW

Hi peeps!

YAY. It's end of PW. No more late night rushing WR. No more trying to think of ideas to fit our proposals. No more trying to find out what's wrong with our project and how to improve it. No more lack of sleep. No more trying to memorise speech and trying to stand still without shifting my weight.

WTS, my dad is now arguing with me about PW when he doesn't even know what is it. Wtheck, this is what I called generation gap. He doesn't understand that PW is not a written exam. Seriously, can someone just update him. He doesn't seem to want to listen at all ._.

Nevermind.

Class outing after OP. First time double digits turned up for an unofficial class outing. End up the class split up to guys and girls for different movies as some of the guys watched Megamind before and doesn't feel like watching again so we went to watch 'Due Date'.

Summarising 'Due Date': It's NC16 for a reason. Go watch it yourself to understand what I mean.

Then, the girls went some neoprint like shop. Squeezed inside to take photos and it was like, ZOMG. We were damn fail thanks to ETHEL CHING, we edited the photo until damn ugly. ZZZ.

After that, went EWF for dinner. Halfway through pang seh-ed the couple and went to eat waffles. HAHA. However, we did went back after we were done. Played slapjack to kill time till 8 PM. Apparently, there was this loser do forfeit thing. I swear, slapjack is not my game. WTS.

In the end, danced with Shien Yang in public. Damn throw face la wtheck. ._. Remind me never to bet again. ZZZ

Well, at least it was quite fun la.

Yay, meeting sec 4 clique on Saturday for basketball. :D Looking forward to it! (:

End of something, is a beginning of another.

Alright, that's all for today,
See Ya!

07/11/2010

2010-11-07T23:44:00.000+08:00

New Beginning

Hello peeps!

Yeah, I have changed my blog skin after looking at the dull one the previous time and coming to the same conclusion as many: it's time to change.

I know the new one looks kind of kidd-ish but, I think it looks less plain. And for one, my life is definitely not plain at all. ._. Anyway, had a hard time deciding between blogskins and had to go around asking many people, but at the end of the day, I chose it on my own. Retarded to the max, but yeah. Well, I suppose I would use the other suggested one next time (:

OP is coming! And that means sec 4 clique outing coming too! :D Heh.

Haiz, so many people emo-ing over different stuff. Results, subjects (H3 ._.), love, relationship, friendship and all the other stuff that life has. I know I am in no position to say this, but still, look ahead.

Anyway, I swear once everything is over, my ties with this particular person is over as well. Sick of hearing all the nonsense, especially from a stuck-up person.

I want to play basketball but there's PW. Sucks TTM.

I am going to cross my fingers on Tuesday and hope everything goes smoothly. No panic attack, no stage fright. Nothing at all.

Good luck to all those taking PW too.

On a seperate but related issue, JIAYOU J2s ESPECIALLY FLOORBALL AND S74 SENIORS for A Levels!!! Special shout-out to Justin especially! <3 You all have worked hard for these days, so don't let yourself down. Jiayou, I will keep my fingers crossed.

Heh. I am going to re-write my cue cards for PW and then I am going to sleep. To those being tortured by PW too, don't worry, our sufferings are ending soon! ;D

Because what goes up must come down. Except friendships and love. Because, what goes up there, only gets higher.

That's all for today,
See Ya!

06/11/2010

2010-11-06T13:34:00.000+08:00

I am waiting

Hello peeps!

These few days have been a disaster. In every way possible. I realised that everytime I am blogging, it has been about bad stuff recently. Haiz.... ):

I've just been humiliated by my principal, for taking a drink from a buffet. ._. If you think I deserve it, I am fine with that. But don't you think it is really overdone? Like, it's just a small matter and you have to blow it up like that. Yes, I do admit that it was not the right thing to do, but surely, the consequences should not have been this? I would have understand if there were demerit points or some sort of scolding, but for this?! Thanks a lot.

And to those people that don't understand and rubs salt on the wound. Thanks.

HAIZ.

Sometimes I really wonder, what the hell was I thinking? I daresay here, I have lost faith in many things. Not going to name them. But yeah, I have.

I am going to keep on waiting for Sec 4 Clique to finish OP. :/

When the world turns their back on you, look out for those that actually faces you. Amongst them, are friends and enemies.

That's all for today,
See Ya!

02/11/2010

2010-11-02T22:03:00.001+08:00

Angsty Much?

Hello peeps!

Before I begin my post.....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TEO WEI XIAN!!!!!!!! (: My awesome tablemate for a year. A great friend for four years. And a great companionship that would just get better. Thanks for being the friend you are to me. (: Remember that I will always be here when you need me.

YAY.

I went to school for nothing. Okay maybe not, let's rephrase that, I went to school too early for nothing. I reached there for morning assembly, only to realise that PW meeting was scraped so I had to camp in school until training starts. ._. First time I was on my laptop for so long in school.

Sian, the PW conversation early in the morning was super awkward. I can totally imagined it becoming a conflict, seeing how it was going. Luckily, they managed to straightened things out abit. Rehearsal is tomorrow and I don't really feel confident. I bet I am going to screw up again. D: Okay, Justin said I shouldn't think that way. I will be fine!!!! >.<

I am tired and shacked once again. Training was fun other than some hiccups and my ear getting hit. I feel like converting from a forward to a defender. :/ But I really go up too much for a defender. D: I shall talk to Coach Abdul about this.

I am feeling so easily irritable and angsty these few days. Something is wrong. Perhaps it's called 'friendsick' It's has been so long since I met my sec 4 clique. HAIZ. OP FASTER END LAH, I WANT TO MEET THEM ONE.

Haiz, was totally out-of-control today. I kept running my mouth with seriously irritating comments and kept getting pissed and irritated by little stuff. And not forget, keep doing retarded things that irritate others. SORRY TO ALL, especially to the HC badminton people. D: Sian, I saw them setting up in the Kah Kee Hall and I was just totally pissed. I just didn't like the fact that we came in here early to train only to find that they have ruined our plans. But I really overreacted when they went too far accidentally. :/ SIAN, I need to keep my emotions in check. Someone help me ):

YAY. OP is coming and it's ending. I am not going to cut my hair. I feel it's better to look good during OP then looking like an idiot.

So much stuff in life and I am still confused. ):

Okay I shouldn't emo. I shall go play some games before sleeping. I am too tired to memorise my script again.

Because sometimes, emotions get out-of-hand. And when it does, disaster strikes. For me, I am in the middle of a hurricane and getting drowned by the tsuami.

That's all for today,
See Ya~

26/10/2010

2010-10-26T21:49:00.002+08:00

I need my daily dosage of

happiness.

Hello people!

Jason seow, I dont whether you might see this, but please keep your promise okay? Meet up soon, if not, I really would turn nuts. ): I miss my sec 4 clique so muchhhh ):

Totally sick of life now and is not that kind of, one thing happens and my world crumble down kind of thing. It's like, so many things are happening at the same time, so many emotional struggles going on within me that I dont know how to deal with them anymore. ): I know I am being too overly emotional, but its just like that.

Promos have been pretty okay. I did promote, well, not saying that I couldn't at the start, it just I was damn lazy. Yay for me? Perhaps some might even be thinking, F, why he never retain? Yeah, tell me I am paranoid, but it's the kind of thoughts that I would automatically have when you are observant enough to pick up little clues left for you. I am not totally oblivious to everything, I just choose to act so. Sometimes, I ask myself, " How long can I keep on pretending? Pretending like everything is fine and I am doing okay. Pretending everything would turn out okay."

Perhaps I am really that dislikeable. Not the kind of friend that many would yearn for. Not the kind of person that people would respect or anything. I know it's not good to doubt self worth, but things keep happening to point me in that direction. I know I have friends that care for me. Sometimes, I feel that I dont even deserve them. I am really an ass I suppose. I <3 Sec 4 Clique. Thanks for not forgetting me despite being in a different school, and please dont ever, because, no matter how far I am, my thoughts would always go to you guys.

Seph, I hope you read this. I sort of know what you are going through, because I did had the same thought as you too. But please calm down and hear me out okay? For my own selfish reasons, I hope that you would stay in AJ so that you would still stay that connected with us. And also, I hope we could graduate together and enter university at the same time. BUT. If you really think that's the best choice, as a friend, you would have my support. I sincerely hope that it was not the setback of the exam that made you think this way, because as you said, failures are just part and parcels of life. We have to pick ourselves up after every fall. My best wishes go out to you.

I am turning into someone with a mask now. Living each day wearing a mask over my face. What happened to me? ): I cant find myself anymore, lost within all the happenings of life.

OP rehersal sucked. I cant control my stage fright. It makes me feel so much worse everytime. It's just hard for me to stand in front of everybody and present with confidence. Nervous-ness strikes me everytime. Hate myself for that ._.

HAIZ

I am losing some of my friends. Intentionally or unwillingly. One of the two. Intentionally meaning I delibrately keep away from the person. Unwillingly, meaning, I want to get to you, but I don't know how to start, because, I have no idea how far we have drifted apart.

Disappointment is a very bad feeling. I had so much of that recently. Thanks a lot of life, you gave everyone lemonades with sugar syrup but not me. ):

I need a daily dosage of happiness. From those that really matters.

That's all for today,
See Ya!

23/10/2010

2010-10-23T21:45:00.000+08:00

Whatever. Seriously, whatever.

Hello peeps!

Sorry for not blogging these few days, didn't quite have the mood to. ._.

Anyway, life wasnt that great for me to blog about, so yeah, sort of piled up stuff before heading here again.

Got back promo results, not really very disappointing, but I wont say it's very satisfying either. Basically, hard work didn't really paid off for bio. Let's see about Econs. Consistency did pay off for math though.... Chem was just, I dont know, screwed? I could have done a lot better if I was less nervous ._. So many stupid careless mistakes all over the place that I felt like killing myself just by looking at my own script. ._. I actually left 2 MCQ questions, unshaded. HOW IDIOTIC IS THAT OMG?! ._.

Let's move on from promo results, and mind you, I didnt even dare to log on to ISP to see it. I doubt I can take the.... impact.

Anyway, floorball trainings are once again, aimless as our coach is overseas until the end of the month. Sort of makes me lose my drive to wake up immediately after the alarm rings, but I did try. Woke up an hour later and rushed out, which led to me forgetting to take my floorball stick along. One thing led to another and I was late for about 1 hour 45 minutes.

Training was just ... aimless. Wasn't the kind of times that I would feel as though it's going to help me destress from all these PW crap and promo stuff. OH, dont forget all the crap life is throwing at me.

Somehow, I've got this really pissed-off look when I am tired and sian. Apparently, it even got the girls thinking that I was pissed that they came in to train ._. TSKK, I don't like smiling ( different from being happy) Damn it, I need to deal with that, can't imagine my OP examiners looking at me thinking, " What's wrong with this guy?" And my long hair, which I dont intend to cut, isn't going to help much either. So yeah, I better work on that.

YAY, OP. Not. I have too much stage fright to actually do a presentation properly. Solution? Practice, practice, practice.

Talking about stage fright brings me to some annoying issue. I am telling you, I have been backstabbed once again. Like seriously. Apparently this guy said, "Zong Xian? I think he is a f*ckface, because he quit MAD. You know the reason he quitted? Because he thinks MAD is too noob for him." LIKE SERIOUSLY?!

Screw this guy, seriously. I doubt I would do anything to him, but yeah, I did like to know who's the UNKNOWN PERSON, calling me a ****face. For one, I didn't quit MAD because they were too lousy, it was because I feel that floorball provided me a better and more enjoyable environment with less pressure and more fun. Secondly, WHY WOULD I THINK MAD IS TOO NOOB WHEN I THINK THERE ARE LIKE SO MANY DANCERS IN THERE THAT ARE BETTER THAN ME?! AND, I crack under pressure too much to think others suck.

HAIZ.

So much backstabbing going on.

Sometimes, you dont even know what's going on behind you back. And it's annoying this way.

That's all for today,
I need to brush up my OP slides,
See Ya!

18/10/2010

2010-10-18T20:45:00.000+08:00

Sec 4 <3

Hello peeps! (:

YAY, I am happy again (:

Having asked to celebrate Ryan's birthday, I rushed all the way from HC to Yio Chu Kang Mrt Station, only to receive a call from Jason Seow to wait there before going over. Then, Kenneth Tay and Low Wei Kit, came to fetch me to Yio Chu Kang sports stadium and I thought all was fine.

We got into the toilet prepared to surprise Ryan with water bombs, and guess what? They opened a door to find Ryan with two water bombs. I got scammed. >< In the end, I was the one that was soaking wet and got smashed with cake all over my face D:

After a hasty chorus of Happy Birthday, I went to change and complain about how I got scammed to Ryan. But hey, I wasnt serious about complaining, because I did had fun.

Thanks to Ryan for chasing me all the way to the other side of the road just to smash me in the face with the chocolate cake, thanks for being my best companion and someone whom I could turn to in times when I needed a listening ear. <3 you brother and fellow nostril.

Thanks to Jason Seow for scamming me to make me think that we were indeed celebrating Ryan's birthday instead of mine. Thanks for being the best friend that I could ever find in my life and being someone that I know would always be there for me. <3 brother :D

Thanks to Kenneth Tay for forcing me to come in the first place and being the most generous person/cat ever to let us suan you all the time about all the sick stuff you say. Thanks for controlling yourself (although it was minimum) during public places from getting too high. Thanks for being the highest person ever in KTV. <3 brother.

Thanks to Samuel Lee for scamming me to stand at the door so that I could become the target for all the water bombs. ._. And for smashing cake into my ear and hair with your bad aiming. HAHA. But still, thanks for never bothering about your image and being crazy all the time (;

Thanks to Wei Kit for acting calm throughout the entire thing that led me to the false deduction. Thanks you for always trusting me as a friend and allow me to help you during difficult times. Thanks for always cracking lame jokes when everyone was bored although I admit, sometimes, the weather is cold enough. Love you too brother.

Thanks to Roy Tan for being part of the plan and throw water bomb at me ._. Thanks for constantly challenging me during basketball with your speed and constantly improving to keep me at my toes. Thanks for being so girly that no one would ever called me girly. HAHA. Thanks (:

Thanks to Nicholas Wan for advicing me to put down my wallet and handphone to prevent it from getting wet. Thanks for putting down the hatred with KT and becoming friends again, thanks for everything. (;

Thanks to Wei Xuan for offering one more water bomb for me to protect myself. Although you left early, my gratitude goes out to you too (;

Last but definitely not the least, thanks Joseph Sephy Leong for sharing the same sense of humour to suan Jason all the time. Thanks for all the encouragement you given me when I was lost this year. Thanks for constantly visiting my blog to give me encouragement and helping me pull through. Really, thanks (:

We could still be, FRIENDS FOREVER.

Thanks for making this one of the most unforgettable birthday celebrations I have ever had.

That's all for today,
See Ya!

15/10/2010

2010-10-15T17:32:00.000+08:00

Let It Go

Hi peeps!

"Let it go" Easier said than done. Crap, sometimes, I am just fated to see stuff that I dont want to. Forget it, I am going to try harder.

FOS rocked on the first, sucked on the second. Sorry Ying Lin nv er, I let you down. I couldnt adapt to the full court momentum and nothing was going right for me. I could only contribute defensively, but I had to injure my ankle in the first half of the semi-finals. Darn it. Today is just a bad day.

Shucks, sometimes, it's really not good to get yourself high hopes, because disappointment, is a very scary feeling. I am totally disgusted at myself during FOS. Played like crap. Haiz.

PW is hitting me with full force to cancel out my relaxing sessions D:

I thought post promos was supposed to be fun. ): Nevermind, there's training tomorrow, I would enjoy that for sure.

I still can't believe I missed that shot which could become the gamewinner. Darn it. I just crack under pressure all the time ._.

It's time to move on. I need to be moving on. I have to move on. Meaning? I must move on.

That's all for today,
See Ya~

13/10/2010

2010-10-13T18:47:00.001+08:00

FUCK

Hi.

Sorry for the profanities, but that was exactly what I shouted in the lift just now. Sorry if I vent my anger on anyone, but I am really not in a good mood.

That's all for today,
Hope you guys had a better day than me,
See ya.

12/10/2010

2010-10-12T19:45:00.001+08:00

High Expectations Get You

Nowhere

Hi peeps! (:

No school today because of Sabbaticals. I was looking forward to Sabbaticals before promos, now I just think I made a wrong choice. It was kind of, boring. Not that it was like too easy or something, (locking really surprised me as a very difficult style to learn), just I didnt like to just learn a choreography and be confined to it. I am too used to my ex-instructors teaching style of teaching the moves and letting us piece it together ourselves. I like that way better. :/

Haiz~

After that, went to Ion Orchard to walk around while waiting for SOMEONE. ._. HAHAHA. Finally, that someone picked up the phone and ask me to go wait at 313 instead. Then, passed my thumbdrive to that someone. Big Bang Theory better be worth the wait okay! HAHA.

I realised I should never get my hopes high for anything. Because, it would just end up getting dashed in some way. Look at Sabbats. Look at my expected JC life. Haiz~

I shall not look forward to FOS so that I can play better then. ._.

Sometimes, it's better to think no one cares. So that when someone does, you can take it as a bonus and life would feel so much better.

That's all for today,
See Ya~

11/10/2010

2010-10-11T20:30:00.001+08:00

Perhaps that's just life

Hello peeps!

Life's like that, anything can happen. So for one thing, dont bet against it.

Went to school for PW today. Discussed abit and in like an hour, the meeting ended. Pretty weird but yeah, at least got some stuff done.

After that, went to school to find people to bball. End up seeing no one on the court that I know. And Jason that idiot never reply sms. I just stoned until Lum Bin joined me.

Finally got back my shooting touch. ~~Let's hope it stays all the way until the end of FOS~~. Eh, no, let's hope it stays all the way. (:

Thanks Lum Bin for the nice talk. It isn't easy to find someone you can talk so much about stuff deep inside to. Thanks. (Although I doubt you would see this. ._. )

I am just going to listen to KT.

Just bear with it. One more year only.

To you guys, I will. (:

That's all for today,
See Ya~

09/10/2010

2010-10-09T20:54:00.000+08:00

With People That Matters

Hi peeps!

Don't you agree that sometimes, it doesn't matter if you are doing something or keeping youself busy or not, but it's the company whom you are with that is important? That's how I felt after today.

Went out with sec 4 clique again today (:

Met KT and Jason at Dhoby Ghaut. End up, there were no plans to anything at all -___- But yeah, so we went to Long John to get some lunch. Sat there for like 2 hours? Just talking about our lives and telling them about my own stuff and everything, it's just beat all the time I have in HC. ._.

Ranting to so much stuff to them and updating them on my live made me felt so much better. Especially with KT's over aggressive response. >.> and abusing, it just makes everything so much better. HAHA.

For some reason, I can never imagine, how much my life would suck, if I didnt had them as friends. You guys would never see this because you all never bother read blogs. HAHA, but yeah, I really appreciate you guys. Really.

Sam finally came and we went off to Plaza Sing to help him to an extreme makeover. LOL. To think I use to dress just like him >_<

I dont know how the future would be, like what's going to happen and when issit going to happen. But I know one thing for sure, I know who would definitely be there for me. Plus minus a few people.

That's all for today,
See Ya~

08/10/2010

2010-10-08T19:34:00.002+08:00

LIBERATION

Hello peeps!

YES LIBERATION FROM PROMOS. WOO~ Never felt this good. Probably because I've never mugged so much before in my entire life. Trying to cramp bio, chem and econs in one shot, is CRAZY.

I hope I do well, because, I really mugged a lot this time ): Like really!! OMG. Haha.

Just a few months never blog only, my tagboard so many spammers liao ._. Annoying, is there a way to stop it? O.O

I dont want talk about the papers, because that would make this post look rather emo ._. SO YES, OMG, Promos ended. Heck the papers and start having fun :D

Fun like, going out with my sec 4 clique to play basketball :D

Rushed to CHS to play first thing after the paper ended. Although sad to say, I deproved like mad while the rest improved by leaps and bounds ._. SUCKS, FOS is coming and I am playing like this. Can die.

Better start practicing more, I dont want to be the weakest link ._. Provided I play that is.

Before I start practicing, I better get that cramp on my calve to go away first. Sucks to limp around and look like paika.

Okay, I am going to keep this post short, BECAUSE I WANT TO PLAY. HAHAHA

HAVE FUN PEOPLE.

That's all for today,
See ya~

22/08/2010

2010-08-22T20:01:00.000+08:00

Made Up My Mind

Hello people!

As my YOG duty comes to an end, and after thinking, going through so much and speaking with so many people, I've made up my mind, to strengthen my resolve, to go for everything in my Promos. EVERYTHING.

This would be my last post before Promos. Even if I've experienced some major stuff, I would most probably not rant here for now. For now. I've got too much to work for and too much to consider to actually let my Promos screw up. I can't let HC Floorball down, if I actually fail Promos, I would be down for lots of stuff, and I would most probably leave HC Floorball. I can't let them happen, when I've done so much for this team I love. So, for you guys, I am going to work harder.

Not forgetting those amazing friends I have, that always are by my side, always there for me to rely on, and I don't want to disappoint them. I want you all to know, I am doing this, for you guys too. I love y'all. I hope you guys know, y'all stand in a special place in my heart too.

Also, there are some amazing teachers in HC, that don't deserved to be let down. For them, I would be doing them a disfavour for actually not doing well, when they are actually excellent teachers that really are passionate about teaching. It wouldn't be fair to them anyway. So yeah, for those teachers that are worth it, I am doing it for y'all too.

After my YOG comes to an end, I've missed many lessons already, so time to catch up, buck up and look forward. And of course, not forgetting those disgusting sunburnts I got ):

If anyone wants to accompany me to mug in school, drop me a message, if I'm alone, I would come join you. (: Anyway, anyone wants to mug outside during weekends? I can't mug at home, for various reasons, so yeah. Please contact me okay? (:

I love you guys, see y'all after promos via my blog. Don't forget to stay safe and strong. Keep faith in everything you do.

If you ever feel like you have lost all hope in this world, remember me, I am crossing my fingers for you. I would be around for you too.

Till then, that's all

That's all for today,
With Love,
See Ya~

21/08/2010

2010-08-21T16:49:00.003+08:00

我要快乐:

又被爱伤了一遍
无所谓当作成长
刚刚走开的人
烟还点着味道却淡了

我并不是天生爱寂寞
却比任何人都多
就算把世界给我
我还是一无所有

我要快乐我要能睡的安稳
有些人不抱了才温暖
离开了才不恨我早应该割舍
我要快乐哪怕笑的再大声
心不是热的全都是假的
只有眼泪是真的

把从前想了一遍
谢谢了伤我的人
想做乐观的人
每种雨声听了都不冷

我并不是天生爱寂寞
却比任何人都多
就算把世界给我
我还是一无所有

我要快乐我要能睡的安稳
有些人不抱了才温暖
离开了才不恨我早应该割舍
我要快乐哪怕笑的再大声
心不是热的全都是假的
我的决定是对的

我要快了- 张惠妹

说着不同的爱, 但是, 有差别吗?

20/08/2010

2010-08-20T22:30:00.000+08:00

Being Me

Hello people! (:

It's such a long day today. And I know I no longer blog on a daily basis, but please hear me out (:

I am being monitored already, due to my bad results, so I have to use the laptop less and do more work to not retain this year. So yeah.... And of course, I want to do better.

Anyway, first day back to school after the 3 day of YOG, and I already can see how much I've missed. That's bad. Haiz....

Bio lecture was kind of confusing as I dont really understand the genetic diagram. Anyway, I am going to go full steam mugging already. I mean it. So yeah....

P.E. was fun despite wet weather. Got to play captain's ball in the college hall. I've to admit, our class is pretty athletic. Win 1 Draw 1.

After that, my dad came to meet the key personnel. I am telling you, I've totally lost all my respect for that lousy teacher. Seriously. ALL RESPECT. He literally gave HIS impression of me to the key personnel. He said I space out in class, sleep in class and don't do homework. All these, I only do it often in his class. I am serious. Even my parents call telll he is talking rubbish. That says a lot, seeing how my parents actually side with the teacher most of the time. HAIZ. I don't like being maligned, I am sure of that.

After school was CCA forum. I just realised they literallty defer us to our teachers-in-charge for almost every problem they can't solve. So much for CCA forum. Anyway, I am hoping my teacher-in-charge is not kidding me, because she told us she's going to get a proper training venue and subsidy for our coaching fees. Let's hope she's not.

Then, met with Tabitha, Xiao En, Shane and Yin Hong to talk about MAF's street sale. To decide how we want to actually set up the stores. I think our ideas are pretty cool, let's hope, it works then. (:

Went back home, having MAJOR motion sickness, so I rested on the floor. And my mom just had to nag at me to actually get me to bathe, when I was already suffering under the motion sickness. Super annoying, omg, like, I am already so xin ku already she still come nag at me. ._.

HAIZ.

Everyone will keep on judging you.

I finally understand why Dawei actually says that. I don't have violent tendencies or issues. I am just competitive. Not that I want to win badly. I just dont like to lose. That's why, whatever happens, I just want to prevent myself from losing, so I give my all in everything I can do. As long as I abide by the rules, dont injure anybody, does it really matter? If being competitive is wrong, Jordan was wrong for his entire life. ._.

If being me is wrong, then I am sorry, but there's nothing I can do about it.

That's all for today,
See ya.

18/08/2010

2010-08-18T16:57:00.002+08:00

A Song:

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

I can't tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now there's a steel knife
In my windpipe
I can't breathe
But I still fight while I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right
It's like I'm in flight

High of a love, drunk from the hate
It's like I'm huffing paint
And I love it the more that I suffer
I sufficate
And right before im about to drown
She resuscitates me
She ****ing hates me
And I love it

Wait
Where you going
I'm leaving you
No you ain't
Come back
We're running right back
Here we go again
It's so insane
Cause when it's going good
It's going great
I'm Superman with the wind in his bag
She's Lois Lane
But when it's bad ,it's awful
I feel so ashamed

I snap
Who's that dude
I don't even know his name
I laid hands on her
I'll never stoop so low again
I guess I don't know my own strength

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

You ever love somebody so much
You can barely breathe when you're with them
You meet
And neither one of you even know what hit 'em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling
Yeah them chills, used to get 'em
Now you're getting ****ing sick of looking at 'em

You swore you've never hit 'em
Never do nothing to hurt 'em
Now you're in each other's face spewing venom
And these words when you spit 'em
You push, pull each other's hair
Scratch, claw, bit 'em, throw 'em down, pin 'em
So lost in the moments when you're in 'em
It's the rage that took over
It controls you both
So they say it's best to go your separate ways
Guess that they don't know ya

Cause today, that was yesterday
Yesterday is over, it's a different day
Sound like broken records playin' over
But you promised her next time you'll show restraint
You don't get another chance
Life is no Nintendo game
But you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave out the window
Guess that's why they call it window pane

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

Now I know we said things, did things that we didn't mean
And we fall back into the same patterns, same routine
But your temper's just as bad as mine is
You're the same as me
But when it comes to love, you're just as blinded
Baby please come back

It wasn't you
Baby it was me
Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems
Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is I love you too much to walk away though

Come inside, pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don't you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk
Told you this is my fault
Look me in the eyeball
Next time I'm pissed I'll aim my fist at the dry wall
Next time, there will be no next time

I apologize
Even though I know it's lies
I'm tired of the games
I just want her back
I know I'm a liar
If she ever tries to ****ing leave again
I'mma tie her to the bed and set the house on fire

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that's alright because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

<< Eminem & Rihanna - Love The Way You Lie >>

17/08/2010

2010-08-17T20:47:00.000+08:00

I will keep smiling.

Hello people.

I am not allowed to blog about YOG, so yeah, I shall keep to the rules.

Went mugging with Hazel at White Sands. Finally got a small rough idea of Lecture 12A. At least I didnt waste my time there, although we wasted quite some time. Talked a lot of crap about our rumours. Haha.

Then, went home.

Visiting my dad tomorrow. It feels weird at home without his presence. Very.

I will keep smiling, for the people around don't deserve to be affected by me. I will keep going for I have to keep promise to my dad. I will keep my hopes high, praying for his safety.

See you tomorrow dad.

That's all for today,
See Ya~

16/08/2010

2010-08-16T23:21:00.002+08:00

Please Be Safe

As much as I didnt like you being stubborn, I didnt like you nagging at me, but I still love you forever for what you've done for me and the family. No matter how much we quarrel, you will still be in my heart. Although I sometimes get irritated or annoyed at you, our relationship would never change.

Dad, I am sorry for all those childish tantrums I've thrown, if I promised to work harder, would you please be safe for me? Please. I know I am not good at controlling my temper, I get distracted easily and I get hooked on to games just as easily, but still I would try my best for the best of you. Please be safe alright. I would be crossing my fingers for you.

I am really sorry for making you mad last night, please be safe, PLEASE.

老爸,我爱你, 不要有事, 你儿子会舍不得你

So I say a little prayer, hope my dreams would take me there.

13/08/2010

2010-08-13T20:24:00.000+08:00

Friday The 13th

Hello people!

Friday the 13th lives up to it's name, period.

Forgot to bring lecture notes to bio lecture, end up copying everything on the foalscap. Waste time == During P.E., none of my shots seem to go in during netball. GP, I brought the wrong article and did the one which he didnt go through in the end.

Tell me that Friday the 13th is a fake, because, I dont believe that it's a fake at all.

I went back home to see my mom glaring at me for no reason. Then, my dad came out and started scolding me for my results. LIKE WTH?! I told them my results like so long ago, then, after my teacher called them, then they start scolding me. WTH MAN. SERIOUSLY.

There's too big a generation gap between me and my parents. TOO BIG. They will never understand what we go through now and they will never understand how I feel. They never will. I daresay, my friends know me much better than my family. My friends know my life better than them. Don't believe me? My mom only realised I was injured from Ice-skating TODAY. WOW.

Don't get me started on my dad. Yes, I know he's going through a lot and I love him for who he is and everything, but somehow, he is just ****ing stubborn. In any case, he claims that I am stubborn. WOW. Anyway, he just believes in his own principles and morals even though they are like morals and principles of the PAST, which doesn't really apply here. Yes, I know, every parent is like that. But honestly speaking, my parents really dont understand me at all. They think I am oblivious to the world and don't care about my results. They are the ones who are oblivious to the world. AND I DO CARE. Freak. They just don't believe in me at all. Seriously.

Why issit, that every single time, when I try so hard to love them, they always end up ticking me off? TELL ME WHY. I don't like to study, but for them, I am. They don't like me talking back, so I shut my mouth and rant on my blog. They don't believe in my privacy, so I removed the password in my comp. Tell me I am not doing enough for them. TELL ME THAT.

GAHHH. Life is EFFED UP. Everytime when things seem to be going right already, it just hits off in the wrong direction again. Sick of this.

Thank goodness there's training tomorrow, I will have some outlet for this rage. ==

Haiz.

Clenching my fist. Gritting my teeth. Crossing my fingers. Moving on.

But I am losing hope.

That's all for today,
See Ya~

12/08/2010

2010-08-12T21:54:00.000+08:00

Tired Post

Hello people! (:

I am not exactly in a right state of mind now, so the stuff I am putting up here might be a little weird, so, bear with it >.< I will edit tomorrow I think. HAHA.

Bio SPA today was easy, even for me ._. Coming from the guy who is the last in class for Bio, that says a lot. Haha. And thanks to those who wished me good luck for it, especially someone who asked me not to broadcast it. I am too lazy to list :P You can claim credit if you want though HAHA.

Econs is getting more and more out of hand. I have been dao-ing lectures for so long already, I am starting to lose track of what's being taught. Looks like I would have much to catch up for this subject ._.

Sianz, Vectors sucks. Literally. I dont really understand Straight Lines and I am totally clueless for planes. Someone help me please =.=

I didn't get to play basketball properly today. That sucks too. D:

Gym was as per normal, but thanks to my ear piece spoiling all of a sudden, I couldnt listen to any music while running the treadmill, which makes it, BORING. Yeah....

Sian, I feel like sleeping alr. ): I shall do abit of GP before I sleep.

Anyway, a quote that I can feel for now:

You have enemies? Good, that means you stood up for something - Eminem

I dont care how people judge me, as long as my close friends are not affected, I dont care.

That's all for today,
Stay strong,
See Ya~

10/08/2010

2010-08-10T20:57:00.000+08:00

GEMS

Hello people! (:

I cant believe that the 4 and a half day holiday just flew away like that. Times flies when you are enjoying indeed ):

Went out for GEMS today. And my conclusion is: Ice-skating is not my sport and it makes other things in life seem so much easier. I might just start picking up airfreezes now.

Anyway, arrived FAR TOO EARLY thanks to my parents insisting that I was going to be late, and turned out to be an hour earlier. Yeah, stoned around the station before deciding to get some lunch at some nearby shopping center. Before actually going back into the station, yeah, I know, very idiotic.

Ice-skating was just @&*@#^$. Even learning cycling wasnt that hard. Ended GEMS with injuries and scars everywhere ==

As I still had an hour to burn away, I went bowling with Wen Cong and Chong We. Haha, I totally suck at it. >< These few days are just not my days manz. HAHA.

Somehow, so much things suprises me. Then, when I look back at myself, I put those situations on myself, and I was envious. Perhaps they were different and everything, but hey, who say I couldnt be! Haha....

Well, life is just screwed and people just get stronger. Tell me about it.

To think our class is actually taking attendance by cliques now. I am definitely not used to it. 4-9 was just too bonded as compared to this. Tell me about it. There were of course cliques in 4-9. BUT we were like so much closer. HAIZ

I am going to start mugging already, talked enough.

That's all for today,
Stay strong peeps,
See ya~

09/08/2010

2010-08-09T21:42:00.001+08:00

Unexpected

Hello people! (:

Finally played basketball with my sec 4 clique after so looooonnnnggggg. And sad to say, my skills hasn't improved much. Well, at least I vent off some of my anger on Darren Mok :P Yeah, my shooting today was terrible. HAIZ, so much for being good at the sport ><

After that, went Samuel's house to bathe. As I was about to leave Samuel's house for home, Jason called me to ask me to tag along for KTV with them. Like.... Super last minute ==

Well, it has been a while since I could actually sit down and talk with them, so I just went. It was kind of awkward at the start as I didn't exactly know Mars and Yuhui. Only knew their names and their existence only. Finally got to see their 庐山真面目. Funny thing was, I already met Mars in HC. And I was idiotic enough not to recognise >.<

Anyway, went KTV after lunch. And omg, Yuhui was just totally out-of-control. HAHA. Really free and high. First thing she did after entering KTV was to take off her shoes and start jumping on the sofa. >.< How's that for high-ness? >.<

After that, started chatting with her on our way to MRT. Started telling her about my stuff because she wanted to know. Haha... Then, she started scolding and reprimanding me on the way for my idiotic actions == Tsk... Started trading stories abit before we finally reached the MRT station. HAHA. Then, she said wanted to continue talking to me or something. Damn funny luh. HAHA.

Sian, I just saw my pile of work. Better get started now... Slack too much already, tomorrow still got GEMS == OMG. Okay.

That's all for today,
See Ya~

08/08/2010

2010-08-08T18:29:00.002+08:00

龙凤斗

Hello people!

After so long, I get a good night's sleep :D I slept for like 12 hours after so long. And, seriously, it feels great. HAHA.

Anyway, I woke up at 1 p.m. First thing that greeted me was my dad wanting to talk about my results. ._. Well, at least I've let him know the problems I am having in school, mainly or rather, entirely, teacher~~(s).~~ Basically, I told him I am going to start studying alr, so yeah....

After that, watched some movie showing on Channel 8. Usually, I won't really care about such movies, but the ending was just O.O in a touching manner. It was about how this guy divorced his wife because he was having terminal disease. Then, he made it up for her in a lot of ways. However, when he was dieing, he co-operated with another thief( He is a thief too) to actually, lie to his wife. He made his wife believed that he was still alive, and made his wife think, that he was still playing a game with her.

Kudos to the director for the plot. I wonder if that would ever happen in real life, love that actually goes past selfishness and life/death. Love that actually keeps going despite death. Love that was selfless in such a way. Haha... I am kind of overthinking over a silly movie huh? Hahaha....

Alright, I promised my dad to mug,
that's all for today.
See Ya~

07/08/2010

2010-08-07T23:29:00.002+08:00

LOOOOOOOOOONG DAY

Hello people! (:

There are so many people I need to talk to now, like, regarding HC Floorball. Now I finally understand why JUSTIN <3 say it's like doing everything. Haha. Let's hope they are receptive >.<

Went to lunch with floorballers at golden rooster before heading back home to change for flash mob. Then, after playing a game or two, I headed for flashmob.

Met Cheryl along the way and was about to follow her when I met Sean Tan. Well.... it would be kind of weird to be like with so many girls, so I decided to follow Sean Tan instead. Then, luckily enough, I met Issac Ong and started scolding him for poning training. Haha... Then, Yau Xuan came over as a lonely soul. Company for me :DD Hahaha...

Flashmob was just weird. The 1st part of dance was actually not that bad, but when the 2nd one came in, I was kind of turned off. == It's like super retarded. I totally forgot the dance steps for the 2nd and 3rd song.

After that, went supper with Chong We, Ting Yit and Zhen Wei. Seriously, hanging out with Chong We and Ting Yit is like abs training, cant stop laughing. Haha.

Funny how things can change, people can suddenly become friends, close friends, 'family' or loved ones. HOR, TF? Hahaha.

I feel like playing games today, so I shall push my mugging to tomorrow. Shall go play now. Hahaha.

That's all for today,
Life is so much more than what your eyes are seeing - Kutless
See Ya~

06/08/2010

2010-08-06T20:23:00.000+08:00

Tell Me About It

Hello people! (:

I have sorted some stuff already, although they were not really good, but at least i sorted them out.

NDP celebrations was just weird. Kudos to all performers, especially choir, for remaining on stage and composed despite the sudden outburst of throwing that frisbee-like thing from the crowd. But hey, HC Choir touched a lot of HC's hearts, seeing how so many people stood up and swayed with their music (:

After that, was maths tutorial. Keeping awake was like TORTURE, OMG. I didn't absorbed much at all ==

After maths tutorial, went to LAN with Chong We, Voon, Wei Quan and Ting Yit. Just by listening to Ting Yit and Chong We's conversation is enough to make us laugh like mad. When we reached LAN, there was no available comps, so we went to play pool instead. This is like the 2nd time I playing pool >< I am really damn fail at it ><

Then, meet Sec 4 clique at J8 to watch inception <3. Omg, it's really an awesome movie. Exciting from the start to the end with some humour poked in it occasionally. Every single detail was taken care of. Perfect plot and storyline. Perfect actors too. Amazing movie to sum it up.

I think it's kind of cool. It's actually a movie of a concept some people think of all the time. On how we are not really sure of reality. If you haven't watch it, go and watch. My attention was not diverted for more than once. (That's saying a lot from someone who can't focus well ><) So yeah, five stars out of five for this movie.

Inception <3

Thanks to sec 4 clique for amazing outing :D Hope to see y'all real soon (:

Alright, that's all for today,
Ryan Gogo, I never emo today (:
HAHA, See ya~

04/08/2010

2010-08-04T19:49:00.001+08:00

I'm guilty

Hello people!

As our hectic lives past, have you ever looked back in your life, and think of all the stupid decisions you've made and ever thought of doing it another way? At the same time, you recall those sweetest/happiest memories in your life, the simple, happy yet peaceful life. Those times that always gets you smiling. I'm guilty >.<

Sometimes, I just wished that I didnt do a lot of stuff. Coming to HC. Choosing Bio. Joining MAD in the first place. My clique friends are just so damn important to me somehow.... They are like companionship to me EVERYDAY.

This hit me as I was gaming at the class bench. Alone. I lost that companionship ever since I came to HC. Yeah, tell me about it. Tell me, how do you adapt to being a lone ranger when you have enjoyed companionship for 2 or more consecutive years of having friends around you everyday after school. I used to know who to go to and what to do with them after school in CHS. Now in HC, I just await people's message. I await people's companionship. Because, I don't like to go some other place unwanted. I feel unwanted by friends in HC sometimes.... Oh, but, really, thanks Leonard. Those words to you might seem like just a joking thing, but somehow, they meant a lot to me. Thank you very much. Really.

My secondary school cliques used to be around me all the time. Although I sometimes pissed them off and they pissed me off, sometimes they make me hate them for a while, they never failed to put a smile to my face. Just by convo-ing with WeiXian, I took out something nagging in my heart. Just by looking at Ryan Goh's comment on facebook, I smile. Just by talking to Jason, I feel wanted. Just by talking to KT, I feel more 'at home'.

A boy that came to HC. Losing all that.

I'm guilty for giving them up for something that should never have been started in the first place. Childish stupid dreams. I am sorry. I am guilty. Take me back please D:

That's all for today,
See Ya~

03/08/2010

2010-08-03T22:42:00.001+08:00

Shagged in both ways ):

Hello people! (:

Just returned home from training, and I am telling you, SUPER SHAGGED.

Anyways, I am finally going to bring my laptop to school tomorrow for PW, cos I dont have much to bring anyway.... AND I am going to bring my NBA disc to play during break :P I think I playing after school also luh. HAHA.

Oh, by the way, HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEONARD, although I know you wont see this anyway.....

It was kind of funny to see Leonard getting tricked by Ethel into eating the oreo full of toothpaste and watching his reaction slowly turning from gratitude to weirdness to digust. HAHA. "Chewing Gum inside right?" "OMG sick" "What the...?! ITS Toothpaste?!?!" Hahaha, epic set up :P And, how nice of Chong We and Voon to sms Miss Ang to tell her. HEHE.

After that was training, I am not going to rant on my blog regarding stupid stuff anymore == So yeah, train abit at college hall before running to Sixth Avenue and back. Shagged to the max man.....

Afterwhich, I forgot to do cooldown stretch. End up, my right calve started CRAMPING when I was taking off my shoes. PAIN OKAY!!! Haha..., thanks Jane for coming over to JC side instead of me walking over :P

Sian, tomorrow need to meet some weirdass DP. Waste time one luh..... I am already starting to mug already... still need to see meh == Sua, just entertain them. :/

Alright, that's all for today,
See Ya!~

02/08/2010

2010-08-02T20:13:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday MARIE! (:

Hello people! (:

Sorry for the long stretch of not blogging, I was studying for Chemistry Lecture Test. Somehow, I am beginning to start picking up my work, and like, I feel like I am catching up on certain subjects, but yeah, there are those that are stagnant still.

OH, by the way, I am using my new laptop my dad bought for me yesterday now. Apparently, my desktop crashed. Luckily, I transfer everything over to my laptop already, so I am a little lucky. But, I sort of lost my PW file document in transition. ): Sian to the max please. I almost roared. Like really ROAR.

Anyway, Chem lecture test in the morning. Sianz, I forgot how to draw all the diagram, but other than that, I was able to recall bits and pieces of the notes. I hope it's enough D: I really mugged chapter 6. I browsed through chapter 5 though :P

Chem lecture was just sleepy. Everyone was falling asleep: Yong Liang, Shieng Yang and ME. Haha, I was kind of sleepy for no reason D:

After that was Chemistry Mock Spa. For the first time in HC, I know how to do something, but I couldnt finish. ZZZ. Sian to the max please ==

Econs was just the same as usual. If not for those entertaining antics by Wei Quan and Chong We, I might have just slept throughout the lesson ==

Anyway,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARIE LIM ZHI YAN, MY OG FRIEND :DDD Hope you had an awesome 17th birthday (: And, yes I owe you a drink, but not alcohol hor! HAHA! (:

After that, went to play basketball with Jane before heading home with her.

It's the muscular man's birthday tomorrow. Hmmm.....

Alright, that's all for today,
See Ya~

29/07/2010

2010-07-29T21:43:00.000+08:00

Gym With The Team <3

YO PEOPLE!

Sorry that I've not been blogging for so long, had to do some work luh.

Anyway, school was pretty much the same.

Bio Spa was just screwed seeing that I could only remember bits and pieces of the things to remember, hence, I sort of pieced them together wrongly. Talk about idiotic-ness and short term memory, I have the entire package ><

Chem tutorial today was just epically crazy. To think my group managed to stumble on the correct answers somehow and eventually won the entire thing ==

Maths tutorial was just rubbish as I didn't finish all the tutorials. Looks like I've got loads to catch up this weekend :O

After school, met Jane for basketball with her friends. And sad to say, I didn't had the touch. Perhaps because my shoe's sole spoiled abit D: Sian TTM. I just bought it not long ago only D:

After that, met HC Floorball for gym training.

Kwang Ming, thanks for the guidance in gym to this lost dude, who didnt know what to do (Y)

Anyway, first time I actually gym-ed. Sort of. All I can say is, I am very shagged. But somehow, this gym trainings seem more interesting to me. Perhaps because it's the first time our plans actually translate smoothly from paper to reality. Keep it that way please! (:

After that was team talk. Somehow I was doing most of the talking as no one seem to dare to voice out anything. Anyway, at least I sorted some stuff out. Then, the topic started to change to computer games and somehow, everyone started participating in the conversation. Haha, we are a bunch of crazy dudes (Y)

I am so shagged now, but I've to prepare tomorrow's stuff. So yeah....

That's all for today,
See ya~

26/07/2010

2010-07-26T21:27:00.002+08:00

Never easy to think straight

when you're troubled

Hi people!

I am suffering from back injury. I hope. My dad say it COULD BE kidney problem. (We are hoping it's not luh. ) Never had I experienced so much pain to sit down. ._. At least it got better than during JTS, when I even had problems walking. But, I am pretty sure I am recovering. I THINK.

Don't ask me how I got it either, because, I REALLY DONT KNOW. I am not sure to say the least.

I realised I seem to start saying rubbish when I am down. I actually hurt someone close to me. Glad that it turned out okay! (: Luckily, I WOKE UP. HAHA.

Anyway, miss pig, I AM NOT SUICIDAL LUH! Thats so kua zhang. == Make me sound like want to commit suicide! D:

Back to life....

Yesterday was JTS. A lucky mistake that I arrived early, so went around with 3 seniors. We went basically everywhere at Bugis. Somehow, there was no awkwardness, perhaps cos of that one of a kind joker, Cheng Siang. Haha.

Anyway, word of advice, don't hold STJ/JTS at Manhatten Fish Market. I sort of got tired of it just by eating one meal ._.

I look retarded with short fringe after looking at those STJ/JTS photoes. Darn it. >.< COME ON, FRINGE, GROWWWWW. >.<

Thanks to TF AND Miss pig for sms-ing me. I know you might feel like you did nothing. But to me, it means a great deal. In different ways (: Thank youuuuu (:

I've decided to start catching up my work once the countdown to promos hit 60 days. I am going to become more mug. I realised I shouldnt say mugger, because, I am so easily distracted. Anyone interested to go out and mug on sundays? I DONT MIND :D As long as it is not too far I dont mind!

I found this new song from my friend's status. I thought the song was nice, so... here you go:

<< Still Breathing - Mayday Parade>>

Give me any reason to believe
'Cause I swear I'm done here
'Cause I've seen a bigger picture
And I'm looking for some answers

Tell me that it's worth it
'Cause I'm doing all I can to fight it
And I've never been this scared
And my moment's finally here

Time's racing (Please slow down)
I got to find my way out
I'm hopeless (But hoping)
My lungs won't fail me now
'Cause I'm still breathing

It's hard to be a man
But I'm doing all I can
I'm ready to give this all I have
I'm ready to be amazed

'Cause I'm standing here alone
Trying to make this life my own
And nothing will keep this heart from beating
I'm still breathing

Promise me some dignity
If I were to stand and die here
'Cause my heart is somewhere else
It's a pain I've never felt

Time's racing (Please slow down)
I got to find my way out
I'm hopeless (But hoping)
My lungs won't fail me now
'Cause I'm still breathing

It's hard to be a man
But I'm doing all I can
I'm ready to give this all I have
I'm ready to be amazed

'Cause I'm standing here alone
Trying to make this life my own
And nothing will keep this heart from beating
I'm still breathing

Where do we all find love?
Where do we all find love?

It's hard to be a man
But I'm doing all I can
I'm ready to give this all I have
I'm ready to be amazed (I'm still breathing)

'Cause I'm standing here alone
Trying to make this life my own (I'm still breathing)
And nothing will keep this heart from beating
I'm still breathing

23/07/2010

2010-07-23T21:36:00.001+08:00

Giving Up

Hello people!

Life is not really exactly good for me, but, to those that actually care, thanks, I will move on. (:

Inter CT games today.

What can I say? We lost the one we were supposed to own. We win the one that we were unsure of winning.

HAIZ

At least I managed to amaze the opponent's class and entertain some of our classmates during this short stretch of 3 periods of PE.

*I am going to start ranting here*

Perhaps you wouldnt know I meant that it's you, but it doesn't matter, I don't need you to know. I don't like the way you just threw off all 'responsibility' off with just a single sentence and betrayed me. I don't like the way it went. Perhaps, what I've thought in my mind, has really came true. I rather it did not, but that's the way things are.

As for the other, sorry, I give up. Perhaps you never expect this to be you, perhaps you won't even see this too. I expected you to be there.... But, just to let you know, I have chose to give up already. I cared too much for no reason. Perhaps it's not your fault, but that my expectations were just too high, either way, you no longer need me. If it hurts you, I am telling you, it's not easy for me either.

*stops ranting*

PHEW.

Moving on.....

After school, Hazel suddenly came to me, " eh, want go Udders?" Well, seeing I had nothing to do, I agreed.

P.S. Wei Quan, sorry if I did hurt your feelings, I was just kidding about not wanting you to come. (:

Uhh, yea, so I went with Tai Zi, Hazel and Zeshan to Udders. Funny how I am around the opposite gender most of the time == Oh well, I don't really care anymore though. :O
Anyway, tried Rum Rum Raisin to have a taste of alcohol. It's pretty bitter, but it isn't that bad either. Maybe it just suits me now bah. *shrugs shoulders*

Life has come down hard on me. I am going to become stronger. Let's hope Justin's prediction would be wrong: Stone Heart.

If it comes down to that, it means, too much has happened. For now, the little things keeps me going~

<< 放弃你 - 瑶瑶>>

我想我并不聰明
我沒有你的機靈
在愛情變質之前我沒反應
沒察覺你的表情

你知道我不聰明
所以才選擇放棄
放棄去猜你每一個反應
去猜你是否變心

放棄你放棄愛情
放棄了所有權利
連自己都知道這不公平

放棄你放棄自己
放棄了愛的權利
放棄你等於放棄我自己

你知道我不聰明
所以我選擇放棄
放棄去猜該如何留住你
放棄了所有回憶

放棄你放棄愛情
放棄了所有權利
連自己都知道這不公平

放棄你放棄自己
放棄了愛的權利
放棄你等於放棄我自己

放棄你放棄愛情
放棄了所有權利
連自己都知道這不公平

放棄你放棄自己
放棄了愛的權利
放棄你等於放棄我自己

21/07/2010

2010-07-21T18:48:00.003+08:00

FML ONCE AGAIN ==

Hello people.

One FML-day DESERVES ANOTHER ==

I remembered charging my phone yesterday night. I remembered seeing the phone saying CHARGING.

I woke up and check my phone, Battery: 37%. FML

First time I have missed my stop at HCJC. I freaking overslept on the bus, and to think no one came to wake me up. I woke up at 7.31 at somewhere near St Magaret Secondary School. FML

So, I had to take the bus all the way back to HC. Morning Assembly was already over. Well, at least I evaded a demerit point again. :/

After that, before Bio tutorial, I realised I had more slides than I thought I had for presentation of Biology AA. So I had to prepare those slides that I missed out on the spot. FML.

After school, I went to meet my GP teacher as I told him I was meeting him today. I went with Sijia to the staff room, to find that he was not there. So I called him, and guess what? He told me because I didn't tell him when to meet, so he went off to see the doctor and was not coming back to school. FINE.

So he told me that he was free the whole day tomorrow. So I informed him I had CCA from 4-7. So he replied me, "You want me wait until 7?!" Obviously no. So I asked him, what about tomorrow 2-3. Of all things to say, he told me, I am not free at that time. FML.

So I am suppose to meet him at friday during the 2nd break as Sijia suggested.

Life just keeps getting 'better' and 'better'

Thanks to my 'sister' for accompanying me home.

That's all for today,
FML seriously ==
See you

20/07/2010

2010-07-20T22:21:00.002+08:00

FML. SOL. U NAME IT.

I knew it, I told you guys that I would be here to rant soon. Here I am.

Anyway, first, I want to thank my classmates for all the concern for my dad, he is fine. Really, I appreciate it.

I am suppose to be doing homework or Bio AA presentation now, but here I am blogging once again. Once upon a time, I would have just heck blogging and do Bio AA. But, today is just too screwed, I needed an outlet, not with me wearing a happy mask everywhere I go.

I don't feel like talking to anyone, don't ask me why. Perhaps I am feeling abit out of place again, but oh well, nothing I can do about it.

Bio U. GP S. And they are moderating GP DOWN. FML.

Say that I am not taking my studies seriously. Say that I didn't mug for blocks at all. Even Hazel told me this.

YEAH, RIGHT, Studying until 3 am in the morning and waking up at 5 am the next. Then, skipping my usual sleep on the bus to study. You're telling me I didn't study for blocks? No, I am not denying the fact that I didn't put enough effort, for I felt that I didn't anyway, not with this kind of screwed results. But, I did try. I MEAN IT.

Perhaps I should start becoming a mugger soon. Don't get me wrong, I will still balance my social life. Just, when I have free time, I would be using it to catch up work. I will still be blogging, seeing how screwed my life has become in this short stretch of time. Rest assured, there might still be some entertaintment that can be found here.

I seem to be losing everything.

I don't like to hide my intentions when I am blogging, so I am going to be direct.

TF, Buddy, Miss Pig, Paxton, Sec 2 Clique and Sec 4 Clique. All the links that I care most about in my entire life. I am losing them.

Everyone seems to have someone else already. Here I am all alone.

GAHHH, SOL. Seriously.

"You have to face the clouds, to see the silver lining"
Kutless- That's what faith can do

I can't even find the clouds anymore, I only see thunderstorms.

I am really sorry for myself. Disappointed nonetheless.

Thanks to HC Floorball and Jane for keeping things off my mind for awhile. Although it didn't help, but it's nice to be able to not think about stuff for a while.

Whatever. Seriously, life, WHATEVER

18/07/2010

2010-07-18T15:48:00.001+08:00

What Can Faith Do?

Hello people! (:

I was just randomly facebooking when I saw this interesting status that was quite... inspiring?

"Don't you give up now the sun will soon be shining, you gotta face the clouds to see the silver lining"

The song is pretty NORMAL. But the lyrics are kind of intriguing. It can't apply to my situation now, but, it might for you. So here it is.

<< What Can Faith Do - Kutless>>

Everybody falls sometimes
Gotta find the strength to rise
From the ashes
And make a new beginning

Anyone can feel the ache
You think it's more than you can take
But you're stronger
Stronger than you know

Don't you give up now
The sun will soon be shining
You gotta face the clouds
To find the silver lining

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do

It doesn't matter what you've heard
Impossible is not a word
It's just a reason
For someone not to try

Everybody's scared to death
When they decide to take that step
Out on the water
It'll be alright

Life is so much more
Than what your eyes are seeing
You will find your way
If you keep believing

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do

Overcome the odds
You don't have a chance
(That's what faith can do)
When the world says you can't
It'll tell you that you can

I've seen dreams that move the mountains
Hope that doesn't ever end
Even when the sky is falling
And I've seen miracles just happen
Silent prayers get answered
Broken hearts become brand new
That's what faith can do
That's what faith can do

Even if you fall sometimes
You will have the strength to rise

Alright, that's all for today,
Keep faith (:
See Ya~

16/07/2010

2010-07-16T21:40:00.001+08:00

Annoying Day

Hello people!

I have no idea why, but today, is pretty much an annoying day to me. Even small things like people being too close to me on the bus annoyed me.

My dad annoyed me in the morning to ask me get some stuff for the office of HC. The humid weather didn't help much too. I couldnt sleep on the bus cos I didn't get a good seat. My classmate was like using my part of the table giving me little space. Then, Paxton pang seh me after school. GP essay fail. I call this one annoying thing deserves another. = =

I count myself lucky to have not vented my anger on anyone today, I cant imagine what would happen if I did.

Thanks a lot to Thuan and Marcus for asking to play soccer after school, if not I would become some lost puppy, which is totally annoyed and vexed.

I've decided to pon YOG practice again. For training. Not that I don't want to go, but.. I just dont feel like it. Perhaps I am getting abit lazy :/ Haiz, let's hope a run to Botanic Gardens from HC would help. HAHA.

I don't intend to vent anymore of my annoyed mood here so, I am going to stop here. Sorry for the short post though ._.

Alright, that's all for today,
SO ANNOYINGGGGG
See Ya!~

14/07/2010

2010-07-14T20:56:00.000+08:00

Losing faith...

Hello people!

My dad cleared his first scan, and apparently, there's one more to go, so I am going to keep my fingers crossed for his next one. :/

I am supposed to be doing PW/EOM/Biology AA now, but here I am blogging once again.

TF, everything would be fine okay? Don't lose faith like me.

I miss my Sec4 Clique all of a sudden. Don't ask me why, it's just that sudden. I want to hang out with them again. Hanging out with them just somehow makes me feel better. Comfortable. And more like myself.

I am regretting my choice to HC now. Very badly. Perhaps if I have hung my head low and went to AJ with them, my life would be better. I would not have quit basketball, I would have a better chance of playing. I would be with them. :/

I am not doubting the friends I made in HC. They are amazing, seriously. But somehow, they are different. Perhaps, JC just makes people's life sadder. And perhaps, I would not be as confused as I am now...

依依不舍舍不得地球上最浪漫的一首歌
我怕太超现实的快乐只是你借给我的
紧紧抱着拥抱着地球上最浪漫的一首歌
我的灵魂二十一公克因为你而完整了完美了
<<黄鸿升- 地球上最浪漫的一首歌>>

Perhaps I am just too paranoid. Or perhaps I am right that you don't. All in all, I am losing faith.

That's all for today,
I can't see the end anymore,
See Ya

13/07/2010

2010-07-13T21:52:00.001+08:00

Something happened....

Hello people!

Day 1 of Sabbaticals are out. I've got Fusion Hip Hop with Wei Quan! :D Finally, I am going to learn popping and locking officially and I no longer going to be dancing rubbish. BLEAH. From then on I no need keep being scared of using le :D

My dear daughter Ying Lin, the person who stole your phone would get his/her retribution. You can count on it (:

Anyway, training today was just totally obviously, AIMLESS ONCE AGAIN. We basically just did nothing. Zzzz... Sick and tired of hearing empty promises to help us find a coach. I swear, if by the end of your promised date, we have no coach, I am going to find one myself. This kind of aimless-ness just sucks to the core = =

My heart is beating darn fast now. Usually when this happens, is either I am exercising or something bad has happened to someone close to me. I really hope that is just TF skipping meals. Please let not anything VERY bad happen to anyone. PLEASE.

Talking about this, my dad is going for checkup in hospital tomorrow. I am crossing my fingers that it's just some normal checkup and everything would be fine. But for my mom to be accompanying seems pretty much abnormal already.... GAHHH... Home alone until 9PM tomorrow. I hope I will be waiting at home with good news.. PLEASE

I still have work to rush, so I am stopping here.

Just for encouragement for everyone:

Limits are just like fear. They are nothing but illusions.
- Micheal Jordan

Anyway, anyone dont mind me joining them in Day 2 Sabbaticals? :O

Alright, that's all for today,
Stay happy,
See Ya~

12/07/2010

2010-07-12T21:03:00.006+08:00

Whatever..

Hello people!

To those who watched World Cup finals, I feel sorry for you as you guys probably are dying for sleep now or have already rested from it. But yeah, 7.30AM - 4.00 PM must one hell of a time for you. According to some pig, it sounded sarcastic.... So, no, I am not being sarcastic, I am being truly concerned ._. although I didn't watch.

First day back from weekends and we get 'entertained' by a dialogue from our dearest Principal. A dialogue about True Love. I almost laughed when I heard about it. Well, no disrespect to him, but, is 'True Love' that easy to define? I mean seriously, people are already complicated being and you want to define their feelings? That's one heck of a job... And he somehow introduced so much factors to look into when getting a relationship and I was like WOAH?! What's the whole point of it?

Life did not come with an instruction manual

That's why we are here to learn things by EXPERIENCING IT? That feels pretty right to me. Everyone makes mistakes at some point of time, but I think as long as we learn from it, it doesn't really matter I suppose.

To sum up:

我不怕爱错只怕没爱过
[孙悟空 - MAYDAY 五月天]

Anyway, lessons has begun officially. And Block Test just came right up to me and slapped me across the face. Yeah, not really pissed with anyone, just kind of pissed and disappointed at myself. Since I can't vent off my anger for it's not anyone's fault, I can only hope to laugh it off bah. Maths was pretty much a major disappointment. Chemistry was an expected epic fail, but that doesn't reduce much of whatever I was feeling. Sucks to the max. Econs results in 2 weeks. Biology should be coming up soon. My GP teacher shook my hand.

Seriously, screw it.

Whatever...

I should start my mugging mode soon.

Anyway, sabbaticals 2010. I am out of choices for Day 2. Any suggestions or people that don't mind an idiot joining them? I chose Fusion Hip Hop, New School Hip Hop, Street Jazz and Korean Hip Hop for Day 1 in order of choices.

Haiz, I still have Chemistry Practical to do. Oh, Yuh Chyi just told me there's still Bio Tutorial MCQ.

I am predicting myself to come here and FML soon. Like very soon. I can feel it.

Alright, that's all for today,
Keep faith
See Ya~

08/07/2010

2010-07-08T21:34:00.002+08:00

Will we always say we've tried?

Hello people! (:

It has been an awesome week back to school, excluding the disastrous Chemistry MCQ results, everything was pretty much SLACK.

In case you are curious, I failed my MCQ, dont probe further, I don't intend to rant on such a wonderful week back in school. HAHA

It was half-day today in celebration of the Basketball division double championships. Kudos and many thanks to the team that I was part of for one training. Funny how many things come back to haunt me all the time. HAHA.

Anyway, yeah, school ended early for us and we got the other half of the day off. Supposedly, I wanted to play basketball with Paxton, but apparently someone decided to PANG SEH ME, so I went off with OG for movies.

And, stupid MARIE LIM, you better be there for our next OG outing, you have missed a lot le!

Despicable Me.

If you don't like cliche movies and don't like cartoons, dont go for it. Other than that, I would say it's a pretty nice movie (:

P.S.
Sorry to Cathay for causing y'all needing to clean up the popcorn mess we caused. I dropped it accidentally! SORRY ><

Anyway, it's suprising to see some pig there. Some place to see you. HAHAHA. It would be kind of epic if y'all had watched the same movie with us, but NEVERMIND. HAHAHA.

TF, I haven't forgotten you. I hope you haven't forgotten me too. I know how you feel being in a dilemma, though I can never understand how hard it is for you to be so far apart from your loved ones. All I can say is, everything is manageable, I can only wish the best for you. I believe you can balance it. You have my support okayy? (:

Oh by the way, Buddy, paiseh about the present thing. >.< And stop suan-ing me, although I am guilty of that too :P HAHAHA

Don't stop trying everyone.

"When our time is up, when our lives are done
Will we say, we've had our fun

Will we make a mark this time
Will we always say we tried"

Rooftops - Lost Prophets

Alright, Issues and Ideas left,
Once I am done, I AM GOING TO SLEEP,
SEE YA :D

06/07/2010

2010-07-06T22:53:00.001+08:00

I don't want to lose.... y**

Hello people!

School has re-opened, it wasn't good but it wasn't that bad either. Well, basically, a pretty standard school re-opening.

Yeah, I want to state here I don't like being maligned, don't accuse of something I didn't do. So what you are older? Doesn't give you the right to malign me. Absolutely disgusted. Sorry about it.

Anyway, now we have 1.5 hours break on tuesday and 0.5 less hour of bio. Thank goodness, if not I can't imagine the dryness of Tuesdays. So yeah, for the first time on tuesdays, we were waiting for time to pass.

Bio passed pretty quickly for some weird reason and I finally paid attention in Biology lecture, OMG, CONGRATULATE ME. Hahaha, must thank Leonard's seriousness to say the truth, but oh well.

*Side-track abit*
I hope I managed to cheer you up with that pathetic letter I wrote. Please be happy. I will cross my fingers for you >.<

After school, Wen Cong said he wanted to practice for Inter- CT Basketball games... so yeah, I joined him. Well, I haven't lost the touch, so it better stay there for the games. I don't feel like losing anything. ><

Anyway, Floorball training sucks now. It's so freaking aimless without a coach. It's like MAD without dance instructor, it's like Clubs and Societies without plans and it's like Aesthetic without conductor. AIMLESS. We even ended early. That says a lot already.

I hope things would go back to normal. For everyone.

I don't want to lose..... YOU

Alright, that's all for today,
Keep faith,
See Ya~

05/07/2010

2010-07-05T21:47:00.000+08:00

Life's full of sh*t

Life is full of shit.

There isn't anyone here that can deny that. Not even myself. We get to enjoy life for a while and then something happens. Anything. And you know what life does, it doesn't just give you one simple problem. It gives you either a whole load of them or one big one. There's no saying that there's always a way out of it, neither is there always a solution to our problems. Sometimes, there's nothing you could do.

However, there are always people that care. People that is willing to be by your side and go through your problems with. I am not saying they can help you, but they can share the pain with you and stand alongside with you to go through all those. If you think not letting them go through that pain seems better, you're wrong. Sometimes, there are these weird people that care who rather share the pain with you and stay by your side. Nobody leads an easy life and I mean it.

Whatever that one could be going through, it feels like the end of the world. It feels like the sky crashed down. But if that's the case, stay strong and lift it back up, you're not alone. I promise you this, you're not alone. Not without me.

Stay strong girl.

03/07/2010

2010-07-03T20:34:00.000+08:00

WHO SAYS SO!

Hello people! (:

Sorry I have not been blogging for awhile, stupid blocks fault!

Anyway, I screwed my block tests, so yeah, I foresee in the near future, I would be coming here to rant soon. So yeah...

Let's not talk about that irritating topic and move on. HAHAHA

Overslept for basketball with Sec 4 clique today. Well, can't blame, I only slept 2 hours the night before yesterday mugging for biology! D: Oh well, at least I WENT. >.<

I was kind of pissed off at the start when I rushed there to find that they were another place playing basketball. When I reached there, I was super annoyed. But oh well, things became better after awhile. Although I have lost that touch, but it was fun luh. HAHA.

Then, they decided to go watch Toy Story 3 after playing, so we went different houses to bathe before heading to Shaw at Orchard.

I am not going to spoil it for you if you have not watch, but IT'S REALLY QUITE NICE! Hahaha. It's not really exactly kiddish I suppose, and it was quite entertaining and funny too. Oh, there are also sad scenes, WHERE JOSEPH CRIED. HAHAHAHA. Omg, super funny when he told me he cried. I won't spoil it so GO AND WATCH. IT'S ACTUALLY NOT BAD. HAHAHA.

I enjoyed myself today, so I shall leave my emo post to another day. And no worries, I'm fine for now (:

Alright, that's all for today,
I AM GOING TO CHILLAX YO,
So enjoy yourselves after blocks kayy!
See ya~

26/06/2010

2010-06-26T00:28:00.000+08:00

Buddy. Happy Birthday!

Hello people! (:

First of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY KHOO JING HUI, MY NICEST BUDDY IN THIS WORLD. Hahaha. YOUR 17TH BIRTHDAY TODAY, I SHALL NAME LIKE, 17 GOOD THINGS ABOUT YOU :D

1. You are like the best buddy ever to me
2. You are the closest longest friend I ever knew
3. You dont mind me swearing in front of you when I am pissed
4. You accompany home on the bus WHEN YOU CAN.
5. You always ask me to calm down when I am pissed
6. You comfort me when I am down
7. You chat with me when I am bored.
8. You never hide things from me.
9. You were the first to call me when I broke down.
10. You are one of the closest female friends I ever had.
11. You always say things that boost my ego :P
12. You have me on ur PM! HAHAHA
13. You always support me no matter what.
14. You wish me good luck before something important
15. You never pissed me off before. WOW. HAHAHA
16. You supported me during my A Div.
17. You are simply the best.

WA, that took me quite long ><. OOPS. :P

Anyway, I was out the WHOLE DAY.

I went to meet Sec 4 Clique to study at Catholic High. OMGosh. NOSTALGIC. AHHHHH. I MISS CHS ): Yeah, for like 2 hours?

BUT.

Everyone got distracted by basketball and then we went to play. HAIZ, I am a fail mugger >.<

After that, went with Jason Seow to buy present for that person whom I just mentioned. Anyway, THANK YOU JASON SEOW FOR GIVING ME IDEAS. (HIS SUGGESTION TO WRITE THIS)

Then, went to trim my hair to remove the ugly BANGS LIKE FRINGE. UGH. Looks better but DAMN SHORT )):

Haiz, went home and started spamming notes on facebook. I am like mugging so little when blocks are like so NEAR.

Anyway, random rant!

Even seeing someone can make you happy. But that someone ain't me. GAHHH. I should stop implanting false hopes within myself. I should maintain it as how it is now.

GOSH, it's supposed to be a happy post.

Got some ego girl nagging me to sleep and wake up earlier to mug now. So yeah, HAPPY OR NOT, MARIE LIM, I AM GOING TO END MY POST NOW.

Alright, that's all for today,
Stay happy, especially buddy,
See Ya~

25/06/2010

2010-06-25T00:24:00.003+08:00

I Wish It Comes Again

Hello people!

I am going to let the lyrics do the talking first (:

<< Lose Yourself - Eminem>>
Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted-One moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?

His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready to drop bombs,
but he keeps on forgettin what he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud

He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out
He's choking now, everybody's joking now
The clock's run out, time's up over, bloah!

Snap back to reality, Oh there goes gravity
Oh, there goes Rabbit, he choked
He's so mad, but he won't give up that easy, no

He won't have it , he knows his whole back's to these ropes
It don't matter, he's dope
He knows that, but he's broke

He's so stagnant that he knows
When he goes back to his mobile home, that's when it's
Back to the lab again yo
This this whole rhapsody
He better go capture this moment and hope it don't pass him

[Chorus]
You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo

The soul's escaping, through this hole that it's gaping
This world is mine for the taking
Make me king, as we move toward a, new world order
A normal life is boring, but superstardom's close to post mortem

It only grows harder, only grows hotter
He blows us all over these hoes is all on him
Coast to coast shows, he's know as the globetrotter
Lonely roads, God only knows

He's grown farther from home, he's no father
He goes home and barely knows his own daughter
But hold your nose 'cause here goes the cold water
His hoes don't want him no more, he's cold product

They moved on to the next schmoe who flows
He nose dove and sold nada
So the soap opera is told and unfolds
I suppose it's old partner but the beat goes on

[Chorus]

No more games, I'ma change what you call rage
Tear this motherf*cking roof off like 2 dogs caged
I was playing in the beginning, the mood all changed
I been chewed up and spit out and booed off stage

But I kept rhyming and stepwritin the next cypher
Best believe somebody's paying the pied piper
All the pain inside amplified by the fact
That I can't get by with my 9 to 5

And I can't provide the right type of life for my family
Cause man, these goddam food stamps don't buy diapers
And it's no movie, there's no Mekhi Phifer, this is my life
And these times are so hard and it's getting even harder

Trying to feed and water my seed, plus
Teeter totter caught up between being a father and a prima donna
Baby mama drama's screaming on and
Too much for me to wanna

Stay in one spot, another day of monotony
Has gotten me to the point, I'm like a snail
I've got to formulate a plot or I end up in jail or shot
Success is my only motherf*cking option, failure's not

Mom, I love you, but this trailer's got to go
I cannot grow old in Salem's lot
So here I go is my shot.
Feet fail me not cause maybe the only opportunity that I got

[Chorus]

You can do anything you set your mind to, man

I know usually people dont like Eminem and thinks he is vulgar. But within those vulgar lyrics, lie the some truth he speaks and emotions some of us feel....

If I had one more chance to say it, I WILL.

Alright, that's all for today,
Keep faith,
See Ya~

23/06/2010

2010-06-23T14:37:00.001+08:00

Perhaps I should. Perhaps....

Hello people! (:

Sorry I didn't blog yesterday, I was busy finishing off Percy Jackson Series so that I can return it to my friend to read. HAHA. But oh well, so I am here at my friend's house, supposedly to be mugging and here I am blogging, listening to Accidently In Love from Jason's IPod..... Oh well....

Yesterday was at least a pretty fruitful day, I managed to finish enzymes and half of DNA. Finshing the other half at Kenneth's house now..... :/

I've got to admit that studying friend's house I get distracted easily, but much less when I am at home.... So, I suppose I am making the right choice now...

Oh, I can't believe I played Yugi-Oh with Ryan yesterday... Yeah, laugh at our childish-ness, we deserve it. HAHA. I should sell them away soon.... It's bad to keep them around, the memories are not good too. HAHA.....

Using laptop is so hard to blog, the keys are so different from the keyboard I have at home, and I can't explain in what way.... :/

I hate looking at the mirror now. LIKE REALLY HATE. In case you have not known, I have cut my hair, and it WAS REALLY SCREWED. For me to be blogging like this, I mean it. GAHHH... I hate that barber to the core. I swear. It looks damn disgusting now. Like really disgusting.... HAIZ....

Anyway, I am about to make any sense now. FOR NOW. Haha, I hope I can be frank with this, but I can't. I cannot make it clear here. I am sure about it.

There were many times I had the urge to typed those words in the message and in the conversation. But somehow I cant bring myself to do it, perhaps, I am afraid? Well... it has always been my fatal flaw... Somehow, it doesn't seem okay. There are so many other ways things could go wrong, there are so many reasons that it would not work out, so many..

Perhaps, perhaps not. I can only cross my fingers and pray hard that some sign would appear in the sky which would tell me when is right...

Bah.

I like the sky a lot. It means unlimited freedom to me, it means without boundaries to me. Perhaps I lack that? So much I bear with. Sharing it doesn't help, but it has lighten it. I hate being forced to do something, but I have to. I know it...

Oh well...

Better get back to mugging, JIAYOU TO ALL FOR THEIR WHATEVER TESTS THAT CAN BE COMING UP.

My thoughts go to you all. (:

Alright, that's all for today,
Keep faith,
Jiayou!
See Ya!